My best friend (20F) is in a dangerous situation with a guy (29M) and I (19F) don’t know what to do.

This is going to be long. For almost a year now, my best friend S has been seeing this man who is almost 10 years older than her. The man, H, is an immigrant from Egypt, and already has a kid of his own that he never sees.

I never really was a fan of their “relationship”. It just seemed strange. Since he’s a grown man, he always takes her out to eat, drives her everywhere and buys her expensive gifts. I think this lifestyle appealed to her a lot and made her feel loved and important since people our age can’t really do that. He is also her BOSS at work, which is a problem in and of itself.

Me and a friend tried to talked to S about it a while ago, but she becomes defensive very easily so I left it alone. I went away to college and hadn’t seen her in months. Recently when I came back home, S confided in me that H had become really controlling, but she liked the rides and the other benefits that came with seeing him, and wasn’t exactly sure how to cut him off. He would post on Instagram that she’s the love of his life, they’d be together forever, etc. She didn’t feel the same way. S would invite him to our plans last minute so he could drive us, pick us up, etc.

He started to act really erratic. One time, while I was in the same room as them, he kept making out with her. She asked him to stop and he just kept picking her up and pressing her against the wall. He started to give her oral while I was in the same room and wanted me to join. He’s a lot bigger than her so no one could physically stop him. It was so weird.

Then, one night, H really freaked out. He came to where me and S were hanging out, presumably on a lot of drugs (molly and coke, i believe) and demanded S go home with him. He became really violent, kicked the door open, broke another door within where we were, and threatened all of us. He said he thought we were with four guys, “sucking d***s” Even after he found out we were alone, he still wouldn’t leave and demanded S go home with him (this lasted for about an hour) so we called the police and S had to file a domestic violence report.

After that happened H texted her father and told him that he was a terrible parent and that’s why S is so out of control. He also showed up to her house and cried to her dad and mom. It was a huge mess. Clearly this guy is unstable and out of control.

S has since, to my knowledge, stopped dating him. He’s still her boss, as she refused to change her job.

Last night, a good friend of S texted me that he was worried about her. That they were with H getting a ride home and he was yelling at S : “I would kill you if I didn’t love you and I would get away with it”. The friend seemed really scared and told me that S has been seeing him again and he’s manipulating her. I had no idea about this.

I’m back at college already but S is coming to visit me this weekend. I need to bring this up but i’m not sure how to approach the situation so she’s REALLY listening. I need some help guys :(. I’ve been in an abusive relationship before and now I understand how shitty it feels to watch your friend be with someone so terrible and not know what to do. I don’t want her to get hurt.

TLDR: my best friend who just turned 20 is seeing a man almost 30 years old that is controlling, insane and borderline abusive. I don’t know how to help her realize she needs to get away.

Submitted January 21, 2020 at 06:37AM by nricciardi00 https://ift.tt/2Rgm8bq