Just as the title says. We've been dating for 4 years. He's really smart (ie a Mensa member). I'm of completely average intelligence. He's a doctor. I'm a secretary.
His intelligence is his "thing" that he's super proud of. I agree it's wonderful. He has a very high IQ. But I often feel that he puts me down. He claims I'm being too sensitive and that it's obviously just my insecurity that is causing me to feel hurt.
We can be having a normal conversation and he'll say something. If I take a moment to work out what he means, he'll kind of chuckle or roll his eyes and comment that it takes me a long time to follow what he means. For example, on the weekend, I suggested that we should go to a store to pick up some cake. He agreed and this conversation followed:
Him: Can we get coffees too?
Me: yes, but I think (the coffee place we usually go to) might be closed right now.
Him: the store we are going to sells coffees.
Me: oh. Yes, you're right. I just thought you meant coffee from (our usual location).
Him (smiling/smirking): it took you that long to figure out what I meant?
Me: sorry, I just didn't even think of coffee from there. When I think of coffee I think of (our usual location).
Him (not mad...just perplexed): of course I know they aren't open right now, so obviously I meant to get coffee from the store. You couldn't figure that out?
Me (starting to feel attacked): Yes I know what you meant now. I just wasn't thinking. I automatically thought of (our usual location) when you said coffee.
Him (chuckling): sometimes it just feels like our conversations take longer than necessary.
Me (no longer wanting to go anywhere): o_o
Variations of this happen a lot. He claims he doesn't mean to be rude, but he just can't figure out how other people think, that it takes "us" (people not as smart as him) so long to figure simple things out.
Also, if we argue about something, he'll often tell me some variation of: "well, until you go to university (I only went to college) for (psychology, medicine, whatever), I'm not going to trust your opinion.
He'll also say kind of weird things like "I love you and my dog so much. I love you equally, but I can converse with you easier". I know how much he loves his dog, so I'm unsure if this is an insult or an awkward compliment.
Am I being overly sensitive? Or is he being rude?
tl;dr: boyfriend thinks he's superior to me because he's smarter.
Submitted January 21, 2020 at 05:31PM by vanityfayre https://ift.tt/38seSPf
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