I'm such a mess. Depression, anxiety and various other diagnoses that make me clingy and afraid of everything.
I've been with my boyfriend for four years and we have lived together for two. I have been miserable the entire time we have lived together.
My boyfriend has no ambitions, he just stays in and plays video games. He hates his low income job and gets drunk every weekend. He doesn't clean up or cook, we never do anything together except for watching Netflix and play video games. If I tell him I don't want to do these things, he guilts me for "never wanting to do anything with him"
Everything is my responsibility. Managing the home, taking care of the pets, coming up with things we can do together. I'm tired of doing this.
I want to leave but I feel so guilty. I feel like I have no right to just dump him. I've tried to talk to him but he doesn't listen to me.
He acts like I'm being the awful one for not wanting to spend time with him or appreciating him.
Tl;dr:
I want to break up but feel guilty of doing so. My boyfriend is most likely depressed and will spiral if I leave him.
Edit: thank you! I'm actually going to go look at apartments tomorrow because I need to find a new place to live before I break up (otherwise he will talk me out of it)
I guess this is part of the reason I feel so guilty: I'm doing it behind his back and trying to act normal. He has noticed something is up, he accuses me of not caring what he's trying to say:
he tries to make conversations while I try to focus on schoolwork > I ignore him > he sulks and spends rest of the night playing with his friends online, then afterwards tells me I should come talk to him if I care about his feelings.
He knows I have severe issues with my focus and I feel like he's purposefully bothering me every time I'm trying to get schoolwork done (for example, when I'm not doing anything important, he couldn't care less. But the second I start something, he suddenly wants to talk about everything)
I'm just unsure how to get my important items out after I move. :/ I have a feeling he won't make it easy for me.
Submitted January 21, 2020 at 12:38PM by Throwaway975325 https://ift.tt/2RiyW11
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