I (24F) confided with my friends (24-25Fs) that being the only person who has never dated was making me depressed, but they all said I'm not fit for relationships and that 'being single suits me better' anyway

Sorry long title. Before, I never really thought much about dating cus I was focused on school and work (was dirt poor so it took up most of my time). I just thought that hey if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. Well, it didn't. I've gone through all this time and had never been on a single date ever. Nobody ever asked me out and when i tried initiating, all the guys I asked just stopped talking to me.

But it was okay cus it didn't bother me so much before and I didn't care much for it until recently, when I realized that I'm the only one who hasn't dated or ever had a bf. They all talked and complained about how guys were always asking them out or messaging them, and even my ace aro friend got a bf before me. So this made me really insecure like what's wrong with me? Why hasn't it happened to me? Am I just that unattractive/unlikable that no guy has ever shown interest in me?

I've been keeping these feelings for about a year now (since I started feeling bad about being single), but I'm not normal one to open up about my personal feelings cus I usually resolve them on my own. But this time it was really eating me up, and I couldn't even figure out how to fix it (like I tried dating apps and meet up groups and even tried to be more social in my gym and climbing days).

I was hesitant to tell my friends cus I felt that it was a stupid and shallow problem, but I just really needed to say something. So I told them how I felt and they all kinda shot me down? They kept saying things like 'dating's no fun anyway and it's super hassle' and stuff like that, which I understood.

But then they kept going to say that I 'wasn't made for relationships anyway since I'm so independent and that being single suits me better anyway' and was like 'dating isn't my thing anyway and it probably wont work out' and said stuff like 'some people just aren't made for dating and relationships'. And even half joked that I can just use money to comfort myself instead lol (cus I work a lot)

And idk it made me feel worse?? Like I wanted to try it and wanted to get their input, but I felt put down by even suggesting I get out more. And just idk I felt pretty shitty about it and didn't feel like telling them about it anymore.

Now idk what to do cus I still feel kinda depressed about it and dont know who to turn to. Plus I feel disappointed with the way they responded...

tl;dr Shared my feelings to my friends about insecure of being single and never having dated, but got told I'm too independent for relationships. Now I don't feel bad about my lack of a love life AND what my friends said...

Submitted January 23, 2020 at 12:27AM by this_randomusername https://ift.tt/2uxkSHJ