how to break up with someone who loves you ?

He (22M) didn't do anything wrong. On the contrary, after 2 years of knowing each other, 1 year in a relationship, the past few months he's been trying harder than ever. Telling me he loves me and cherishes me almost every day. I (24F) started losing my feelings slowly, it scared me so much that I had been pushing those thoughts down all the time the past two or three months. I don't have any experience in falling out of love with someone, I just thought that it was a period that will pass. It scared me so much. But it's just getting worse? The more I am with him, I feel like I am robbing him of his right to get over me as soon as possible and find someone better for him

But how do you look in the eyes of someone who adores you, who did nothing wrong, who wants to spend their life with you, who tells you there isn't anyone better for them out there except you and tell them it's over? Every time I honestly talked about how unhappy I am, how I don't feel as intense as I used to, how I have no idea what's happening inside of me, how I feel like I'm stuck, he always seems to just...acknowledge it but then quickly forget and ignore it out of pure pain. "Let me try harder" "Give us more time" "You're just stressed out it will be okay, I will never stop loving you, I am sorry if I'm doing something wrong" and then I do. I do give us more time. But it's not getting better

‌The thought of the look on his face as I tell him it's over is making me fall apart. I am going to die of sorrow if I hear "Am I not enough for you?" one more time. He plays a tough guy but deep down he is very sensitive and afraid of being abandoned and I was probably the only one who was allowed to see this part of him. I cannot stand the thought of him not getting over me and suffering for months, years. No one deserves this. I feel like a monster. I hate myself. Half a year ago I wanted to spend my future with him, in the midst of being crazy in love we fantasized about marriage, children, living together, traveling together. I loved him more than I thought I was able to love. Never knew I carried that much intensity and love in my heart, in my being. And now it's gone for me. I care about him deeply but I don't see our future together anymore. We're too different. I want to move on. And I have to be the one to end it, I have to inflict unimaginable pain to someone who did nothing wrong. I have to be that person who broke someone's heart so hard and left them. I am a selfish, selfish person. Because I want him in my life, I want to comfort and support him, I want to see him move on, I want to be there for him. But I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. And I have to completely let him go for a long time, I have to make him believe that it's over for good, that's the only way he will get over me. And I don't know how to forgive myself. I don't know how to make his pain less sharp and debilitating. I really don't. I find myself preparing for this talk and just whispering "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" to my walls while crying in the middle of the night. I am so sorry. I am so sorry for telling you I will never leave you and now I have to do it. How do I deal with this? How to do this? I don't know how to deal with the guilt. Part of me hopes he starts hating me because I feel like I deserve it. I recently got terribly sick, fever, migraines, swollen throat, exhaustion and my gut is telling me that I got sick because of the stress and anxiety. And yet I feel bad for feeling bad because his pain is going to be so much bigger than mine, I should just stop complaining but I've honestly never felt worse. To anyone who got heartbroken and left just because their person lost feelings for them and wanted to move on, I am so so sorry

TL;DR: I (24F) fell out of love with my boyfriend (22M) of one year, I care for him deeply but I don't see our future together anymore, I gave us time (months), talked honestly about this and it's not getting better, I can't stand the thought of hurting him but I have to let him go, stupid question but is there any way to make this easier for him, I feel terrible and like a monster, the guilt is tearing me apart as I am preparing for this talk, I got physically sick because of the anxiety and stress, any kind words will help

Submitted January 22, 2020 at 01:19AM by tdwlmg https://ift.tt/2RGBq8k