How do I (20F) tell my mother (55F) I don't want her to buy me presents anymore?

Every year for my birthday and Christmas, my mom goes completely overboard with gifts. I'm talking piles that take an hour to unwrap. When I was a child this was amazing, but as a college student and with our strained relationship, gift-getting has become very stressful for me, as I have to fake enthusiasm and then find a way to discreetly get rid of all the stuff. It also makes me feel very guilty as I make minimum wage and can only ever get her one or two small things.

Usually half of it will be knickknacks I have no use for that end up in the garbage (think flashlights, bookmarks, small plastic toys for children), and the other half will be ridiculously expensive things (jewelry, clothes) that I also have no use for. This year I got multiple $300 sweaters that can't be worn against bare skin and need to be dry-cleaned. I'm a college student living in New York and I don't even separate my whites and colors, so I have no idea what to do with these other than give them to goodwill.

I would much rather have the ~$1000 she spends on presents every year as rent money, or put in a savings account, or even just as cash, but she enjoys buying and wrapping the gifts so much that I don't know how to bring this up to her. She also likes having the presents as something to hold over me when we get into arguments ("well if you won't talk to me then I guess you aren't getting your presents", though of course this doesn't work because I don't want them) so I don't know if she'd be willing to let that leverage go.

Does anyone here have advice to get her to stop??

TLDR: My mom spends over $1000 on gifts I end up getting rid of every year, and I'd rather just have the money.

Edit: I feel like I should clarify. I don't at all expect my mother to give me $1000 for Christmas. It's less about what the presents are, and more that it's very anxiety inducing for me to have to open them in front of her and react accordingly, and then give them all away without her finding out. She also complains all year that we don't have enough money for anything and I feel guilty that so much is getting spent on me.

Submitted January 06, 2020 at 02:01PM by thesmallone7726 https://ift.tt/37BcHZg