My boyfriend (30) and I (25f) were friends before we got together, (we've been together for 3 years now) when we were friends he had talked about this girl to me who he has known since he was a kid and whom he had never gotten to be with because it "just didnt work out" Fast forward to 6 months later and we're dating. We're getting to know eachother and we ask eachother about previous relationships. He told me his ex (whom he dated for 2 1/2 years when he was 25) was overly flirtatious with other guys and ignored him for weeks, he didn't understand why and that it really hurt him so he broke up with her months after.
I asked him straightforward about the girl he had been pining over and my concerns with how I felt there was more to it. He told me they were friends and it was just a teenage thing and she had actually slept with his brother and she was still in his life as a friend and it was just a crush. I never really accepted this answer as truthful, but I pushed it to the side for a while. Months passed that were were dating and she had invited him out places with friends and he had made plans to go (didn't invite me) just told me that he was invited but then didn't want to go when the time came (maybe because I was physically with him?) He said he'd make it up to her and the convo was over. Fast forward another few months and shes messaging him in the evening while I'm sitting right beside him. He doesn't mention anything I just look over and see that she's sent a bunch of heart emojis and "💞💞💞 I love yous" and he's said it back. I get upset with him because I've talked to him about this relationship before and how it has bothered me especially when he doesn't mention anything, I always find out in a super shitty way and he's always said that I'm making something out of nothing.
FAST FORWARD to a week ago when I did something dumb and that I'm not proud of. I was browsing Facebook on his phone and her post came up (she had readded him back a while ago, so I clicked on her profile and read their conversations. It was filled with funny messages back and forth, "witty" inside jokes and "I love yous" (friend ones I'm guessing) and zero mention of me on my boyfriend's part 😂😂 I keep reading before he was dating me, and it was all message of him trying to get with her and her flirting back, and then I keep reading to when he was with his ex at the time, and the two of them are sexting eachother!!!! Him saying how his girlfriend hasn't fucked him in months and how he will never forget his first sexual experiences with her and more.
The whole dialogue between my boyfriend and this chick over the years has been flirtatious and sexual and he still remains that they are just friends and that the conversation he had with her wasn't flirting when he was with me. He told me I shouldn't be worried about anything even after telling him all of what I found out, and*** I apologized for invading his privacy. I frankly don't want them to have any relationship regardless of how long they've known eachother. Is this selfish? Is that too controlling? I want to be able to trust him but I saw even after having this conversation with him he has still kept her on his social media.
TL:DR Boyfriend admitted to cheating on his ex with childhood family friend, and downplayed their whole relationship to me, I don't know if I'm overreacting,just need a vibe check.
Submitted January 22, 2020 at 12:26PM by fria344 https://ift.tt/37exmCJ
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