My (26F) boyfriend (26M) of 4 years spent Christmas with my family for the first time and now I’m thinking of ending things.

This is a throwaway account. My boyfriend of 4 years and his grandmother spent Christmas (Eve and Day) with my family this year. Though my family is welcoming for the most part, my dad and younger sister aren’t huge fans of my boyfriend. In their words they think I can “do better.”

This has caused some underlying tension between my boyfriend and sister in particular. Around this time last year, my sister and boyfriend had a huge fight about the way he spoke to me. She doesn’t see BF much as we live in different cities but in her perspective this was an opportunity for him to show her how he’s grown/a chance to smooth things over for the better. Needless to say, my boyfriend’s behaviour was downright disappointing for both of us this Christmas.

Throughout the past two days, he’s continuously made comments about how I’m acting, how I need to pay more attention to him, how I keep talking back, etc. For example, he told me to “watch my mouth” when we were out for a beer with the whole family, which took people aback. I was mortified. He also tends to poke fun at me, but the jokes just aren’t funny, they can be downright hurtful. He makes fun of my interests, my weight, where I’d like to go on vacation...

My entire family has told me they don’t like how he speaks to me. I think I’m more cognizant of it when I’m around them, but looking back at my journal over the past year, I’ve written more negative entries about him and how he makes me feel than positive.

When I’ve tried to approach him about this issue, he acts extremely defensive and puts the blame either on my family or me. He acts like a spoiled brat, never claiming responsibility or acknowledging the fact that he could be in the wrong. I’m considering speaking to his grandmother and asking for her advice as she basically raised him and has dealt with his various moods and tones. He has a lot of family problems which I think have contributed to how he acts around my family but this is speculation.

This, coupled with some other issues, such as me just finding out he was suspended from his job (he told me he had vacation time) are making me seriously question how much longer I can take this. I’m embarrassed by his behaviour and lack of accountability for his actions. We live together and most of the time are pretty happy, or so I thought. It’s when we’re around other people that he acts the fool and makes me feel like I constantly have to apologize for being me or simply existing.

Thinking if I should dodge a bullet while I’m still somewhat young and end it, or consider therapy? I love him and thought he had the potential to improve but now I’m not so sure.

TLDR; My boyfriend is rude to me in front of my family and tends to tear me down. He also lied about being suspended from a job. Should I stay or go?

Submitted December 25, 2019 at 09:26PM by hside93 https://ift.tt/2ZnwlVM