My (19F) friends (19-20M) leave a huge mess every time they visit, and I'm stuck cleaning up. What's the best way to issue an ultimatum?

If I was in the right position, I'd tell them to either clean up after themselves, or don't come. We've been friends for 7 years now, and I don't want to lose them over something so silly.

I've told them twice already that they need to clean up after themselves when they visit me. They apologized and said they would do better next time. Two more visits later, and the place is a mess yet again. Now I don't mind a little mess, but it's to the point where there is food smeared on the floor, tables and god knows where. There are dirty dishes everywhere and no one bothers to even put them in the sink, yet alone the dishwasher

Normally, I'd probably cut off such a relationship where they seem to be taking advantage over me and my hospitality. But ever since school ended, we've all grown apart and I rarely get to see them. I appreciate and love their company, but not so much after they've left. I'd rather deal with the mess than not see them, but I can't keep up with the hours of cleaning after they visit. We rarely do anything outside (ie. bowling, movie, etc.) And my place has become the normal hangout space about once a month when we meet up. I also have both mental and physical problems which makes me extremely fatigued, and they are aware of that, yet they leave the cleaning to me.

I need issue an ultimatum here, tell them "if you can't clean up after yourself, then my place is off-limits for visits" but without sounding so harsh, and without repeating it again. Like I mentioned, I've scolded them twice before and that took no effect. I need to get it through to them this time.

Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate any suggestions or advice

TL;DR My friends leave a huge mess every time after they visit. I end up exhausted and cleaning up for hours. I've scolded them twice for it, and they haven't changed. I need give them their final warning, and tell them I've had enough. I don't want to lose them though. What would be the best way to do that without repeating myself?

Submitted December 06, 2019 at 06:21AM by helena94778 https://ift.tt/3514Ovj