My husband (53) and I (49) have been together 17 years and he is becoming very close friends with his female co worker (39) and I'm kind of worried.
I try to trust him, but she calls him several times a day, including working together. I stayed home from work today and she called 30 minutes after I would have been gone. He made a point to tell her I was home from work. He also adjusts the volume on his phone so I can't hear what she says.
She has told me I don't have to worry but she also wants her own time alone with him, either him at her house playing cards or going out to eat or the bar. She says she feels so comfortable talking to him about anything and he's not judgmental (she calls him her best friend). She lives with another guy but her ex boyfriend also lives there in the basement along with her two kids. It's a strange living arrangement. She dressed very provocative at the bar and hangs all over my husband and sits on his lap. Very flirty with him as well as other men. Pays for his drinks and will buy him breakfast after the bar closes. She also buys him things, like she gave us 300 dollars and bought him and me shoes. She is about 75 pounds lighter than me and huge breasts. I'm jealous of her figure and she is younger than me.
I have voiced my concern to my husband. He takes it as I'm trying to control him or tell him he can't have any friends. This isn't the case. All I'm suggesting is if he could have her back off just a little because I feel uncomfortable. She don't need to call him 2 or 3 times a day, text, invite him over or out every single day. I don't care if they hangout or play card games together but what I care about is it happening every single day. It feels like she has a crush on him, and my husband had mentioned that if they were both single he would go for her but there not , so he wouldn't. I'm just trying to be preventative. You don't lock an alcoholic in a liquor store ya know what I mean?
Am I over reacting or is this okay? How can I voice my feelings and not sound controlling? I don't want to push him away, but I also don't want to allow a possible sexual encounter to happen either. I believe he would stop any advancement but I also know he loves the attention. What man wouldn't? When you add alcohol to this scenario it can end in disaster. This is putting a huge strain on our relationship because of my feelings.
I also have to confess that I would throw a fit whenever he wanted to go out by himself and I would even guilt him into staying home. It's true that I want him all to myself but I know it's not healthy and not fair to prevent him from having his own friends and his own interests. I wish I could be his only source of happiness but realisticly I can't be. I would learn to handle letting him do his own thing, I would have to work on it. I truly don't want to control him, I see him as my entire world because I have no friends of my own I trust to be with and I feel guilty having fun without him. I love him too much, but he is charming and handsome and funny and he makes my heart feel alive. No one can hold a candle to him. I fear her around him drunk, more than anything else. I don't want to lose him and I hope that maybe we can work this out so I won't. 17 years is a long time to invest in something and watch it all go to hell.
TL;DR My husband seems to be having an inappropriate relationship with a much younger coworker. When confronted, both of them assure me nothing is going on and my husband insists I am being controlling; their behavior has not changed. Is this controlling? If so, How can I make my point and not be?
Submitted December 06, 2019 at 05:26PM by Itusedtobetaboo https://ift.tt/33Xq6c6
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