Hi reddit.
Came home for the holidays and found out that ever since me and my two younger sisters all moved out around five years ago, my mom has been having multiple affairs. I was told by my sisters who thought I already knew.
This came as a shock to me as I've always thought my parents marriage was very solid. Never were there any arguments when growing up. I could tell they were sorta distant by the time I hit my teens but that happens to every married couple, right?
My sisters did not seem phased by this at all. They even told me that our mom has been sharing VERY intimate details about these affairs, going as far as telling them about her sex life with these men. This revolted me, as these do NOT seem like things a mother should share with her children. My sisters said they were shocked at first too but shrugged it off by saying our mom "never saw them as her children but as friends anyway" and that ever since we all moved out she'd resorted to living "the life she missed because she got pregnant so young."
I do know that she'd been dating my dad for barely a month when she got pregnant with me back in the day. For background after getting pregnant my mom never finished her degree and has worked menial jobs since. My dad has been with the same company in the same position for over 35 years and while it's never been the best paid job, he always brought food to the table. I'm incredibly grateful to both of them for sacrificing their own progress to raise us kids and make sure we always had everything we needed.
I'm just at a loss when it comes to my dad. He's the greatest guy you could ever meet and me and my sisters love him unconditionally. My sisters agreed with me that our mom should've just divorced him beforehand if she was determined to get it on with other guys. As my parents do have quite an age difference, my sisters think that nowadays our mom just does not see our dad as a husband anymore but a provider, kind of like a father too, and she's the fourth sibling, blabbing about her sexual exploits to "her sisters."
All of this has definitely made a mark on my Christmas and I'm sort of appalled by how nonchalantly my sisters are acting about all this, but it seems they've known about her behaviour for years by now. I'm torn between wanting to tell our dad with my sisters' blessing and just not saying anything, as it's not my place to interfere in their marriage.
The latest fling my mom had happened recently on a holiday trip to another country (she went with a friend) and she told my sisters that she's in love with this man and wants to go back. I don't think my dad has any clue about any of this, however he was (according to my sister) puzzled when my mom returned from the trip and immediately wanted to go back "but this time alone."
Well, apparently after texting and FaceTiming for weeks afterwards the man ghosted my mom, which according to my sister "broke her heart."
Turns out, she now wants to go on another holiday trip to the same place next spring and has convinced my dad about the place too. She's now trying to get us kids to go as well. "It's a GREAT holiday destination, lots to do and see!"
Obviously knowing the things she got up to over there me nor my sisters have any intention of booking flights to this place and hope our parents don't go by themselves either. My sister even remarked "yeah she'd totally just disappear one night to her lover's arms."
I feel like my mom has suddenly become a teenager and the rest of us are the adults here. I guess I just need an outsider's perspective on what the hell to think about all of this. I also feel like maybe I've just been so very naive about adult relationships all these years and that these things happen and I shouldn't feel so shocked, you know?
And although we're all adults by now, it just seems like such a horrible example to be showing your children.
Thank you for any advice, reddit. And happy holidays!
TL;DR: My younger sisters told me that our mom has had multiple affairs over the past few years and she's told them all the gory details. Dad knows nothing, not sure what to do (if anything)
Submitted December 24, 2019 at 02:48PM by UnnecessarilyPlural https://ift.tt/2EPtYll
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