I came home for Christmas and everything with my (26F) parents (59M, 63F) and brother (25M) is a disaster.

TLDR; I’ve lived across the country from my family for almost 5 years and only get to visit a couple of times per year. I came home to a toxic environment and I’m not sure I want to keep talking to them. Looking for opinions on how to approach this

I’ll make this short and sweet, but I’m happy to provide any additional details. I have lived across the country from my family since mid-2015 and because I’m a grad student, I can’t afford to visit frequently.

I was so excited to go home for Christmas and spend time with my family. I paid a lot of money for this ticket and turned down going to my boyfriend’s parents house. However, I’ve been here for 4 days and I feel like I have entered a disaster. I am so disappointed and upset. I have cried every night about this. I’m not sure if I even want to associate with these people anymore.

My brother (25M) is doing a year-long internship in my hometown, so he moved back home with my parents. He pays $400 of rent, but he doesn’t help with chores, pay for groceries, pay for a car, etc. my parents said they are helping him so he can save up for his college loans. My brother’s girlfriend (27F) lived here during the summer rent free and supposed by my parents, but goes to school/lives an hour away the rest of the year. She comes here frequently (she’s here for school break) and my parents support her.

My brother and his gf are vegans and my brother is enthusiastic about environmental conservation, liberal politics, and climate change. My parents are not. This is causing a lot of tension. It’s constant yelling, arguing, and my brother ridiculing my parents if they do something wasteful (E.g., use a plastic bag from the store). My brother is constantly grumpy and snaps at people. He’s gotten a kick out of making fun of me and my interests. I hate to say this, but he is an entitled jerk. My parents are nasty back to him. They treat him like a child and criticize his decisions. This is something I know all too well because I dealt with it for 18 years. My mom is also very fragile, and will start yelling if she thinks someone is trying to oppose her. My personal strategy is to be extra respectful and go along with her to avoid confrontation. I know this is a bad strategy and enables her behavior, but I really want to keep the peace since I’m not here a lot. My brother just eggs them on.

I’m now stuck here until the 30th and am so sad. My brother is so mean to my parents. My parents don’t respect my brother. I just want to escape his toxic environment. I considered booking an earlier ticket, but I don’t think I can afford it. I am also worried about hurting my mom’s feelings.

I’m so upset, I am considering going no contact with these people. They are not people I want to be around, have my boyfriend meet, talk to, etc.

I am looking for advice on 1) how to get through this 2) whether I should start a conversation, given my mom’s tendency to react very poorly to criticism 3) if I am overreacting by considering going no contact and I will regret it later.

Submitted December 22, 2019 at 01:53PM by mks93 https://ift.tt/2POL496