My (36M) fiancee (32F) just told me that she can't be happy living our current city long term (Jax, FL). I moved around my whole life and love my job and would prefer to stay here.

Pretty much what the title says. I just want to hear some feedback on this argument we just had. Background is we've been dating for 3.5 years, recently engaged and I love this girl and would love to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm just taken aback by how stalwart she is being on this one, albeit very important, issue of where we will live for the rest of our lives. I moved to Jacksonville after a work opportunity in another city didn't work out. At that time we had been dating 6 months and we moved in together in a small apartment and I found a decent gig in Jax. I say decent but I grew to hate it, but hey, it paid the bills and enough left over to save a little too. Now, after 2.5 years of working my way up into a recent promotion, I can finally say that I love my job, my manager, my coworkers, my company, and my compensation. And Jacksonville isn't the most wonderful city in the world, but I've lived in several cities and feel that it's a decent fit for me. Also, I kinda feel like people are pretty much the same everywhere you go, you just have to find the right people.

I spent my childhood moving around, and after college I moved probably 5 times in around 12 years to completely different cities for different work opportunities. However, she has lived here her whole life. Her close friends have been less than supportive of her at various times in her life, but she has been friends with them for so long that she kind of puts up with it. She's not particularly thrilled with her job but it's something she can do in pretty much any city in America with a wide variety of companies offering the same service. She has never lived anywhere but here and she would like to move and live somewhere else. She's said before that she'd like to move, but she's never aggressively looked for work in other cities, nor has she ever said anything as severe as "I'd be unhappy if I had to live here the rest of my life." I just always kind of thought of it as a kind of fantasy for her, like she likes the idea of living somewhere else but isn't super serious about it. But this morning we were talking about the wedding and our future and I was very taken aback about how differently we felt about living here.

I've said that things could change for me in the future and I might then want to move, but if my job is always as great as it is now, I wouldn't care to seek out a new job simply for a change in scenery. Only if it was monumental career growth would I be interested in such a thing. I prefer to plan for a future here in our current city, one where we can set up roots and not move our children around a ton once we have them as I hated being uprooted during my childhood.

I've also said I'd be fine with retiring somewhere else, hey maybe even having a vacation home if things go well, which made her happy, but she still said she'd be unhappy if we lived here another 5-15 years.

What do you think reddit? Is this a dealbreaker for her? Should we move on our separate ways now before getting married and having kids? Or is this something that will pass and she won't feel so strongly about it later? Any redditors been in a similar experience with your SO hating your city while you simultaneously being cool with it?

TL;DR Me like Jax, she no like Jax.

Submitted December 22, 2019 at 09:39AM by Jaxaintthatbad1 https://ift.tt/396rIDS