So, we have been dating for 4 years and just moved in together 6 months ago. So far everything has been really great! It's actually going amazing so far honestly, we are stable, happy, and generally doing well.
Some backstory to the layout of our house because it's important to the story. It's a very tall and thin 3 story townhouse. The front door is on the main floor. All that's really down there is the laundry room and foyer with a coat closet. The kitchen/dining area, a bathroom, and a little sitting area is the main floor. The top floor is our bedroom, a bathroom, and a spare room that we use like a games room/rec room with the couch, big TV, pool table, mini bar etc. If we have friends over or are having a small gathering or playing video games or generally having fun, it normally happens in that room on the top floor.
So I went out for a dinner/movie night with my best friend to celebrate her birthday. We went back to her place afterwards to eat some cake and watch some movies and do face masks. Girl stuff. Because I was planning on spending the whole evening with her my boyfriend decided to invite a bunch of his buddies over for beers and gaming. Perfect setup! So, I ended up coming home around 3 a.m. but I could see the lights on on the top floor and all the cars and trucks along with street that belong to people that I know so I knew they were still up and going. I was still wide awake and excited to join them and drink a little (best friend is sober so we didn't drink throught the night) so I was pretty happy to see this.
So I go in and head up to the kitchen to stick some leftover cake in the fridge. I can hear music and laughter and general shenanigans upstairs so I'm pretty sure they haven't heard me come home. I called out "hey guys!" from the kitchen, but still nothing. I head upstairs and the door to the games room is closed and there's lots of noise in there, so I figured they still haven't heard me. We have a cat that tends to get into the mini bar and knock bottles around so it's pretty normal to close the door. I'm not trying to be quiet or anything but I can tell they haven't heard me come in because usually my boyfriend pops out to say hello. I change into my pyjamas and go downstairs to grab a soda, getting ready to head up there, say hello, make a drink, and settle in for some games or watching them play pool or something. Just generally hang out.
So, by the time I approached the door again the music had been turned down and the room was pretty quiet. I stopped to listen for a second because I could hear my boyfriend talking and I didn't want to interrupt the story and I was curious about what he was talking about so I decided just to linger for a second. Turns out, he was in the middle of telling a really detailed story about something really private and embarrassing that happened to me that week when we were being intimate. His buddies were laughing so hard and chiming in with generally rude remarks about their own partners. I continued listening. He then continues to point out some flaws and quirks about my body, and says things like "I just turn her around if I don't want to look at those teeth" as his friends are dying laughing. I'm pretty average-looking but I didn't realize he thought that apparently I look horrible enough to make fun of. A lot of the things he was talking about were huge insecurities of mine, like a bald spot from adolescent alopecia. My heart pretty much sunk to my feet and I decided just to crawl into bed and cry.
His friends ended up going home shortly after and he was sawing logs on the couch in the games room shortly after. I am so indescribably hurt and upset, but I can't decide if I am being unfair to him for being so upset because I was never intended to hear those things. He is normally really supportive of me and is always complimenting me and calling me beautiful and I was just really shocked and hurt by that. Since it wasn't intended for me to hear, do I just forget that? I've never had a situation like this before and he's my first boyfriend if I'm being totally honest so I have no idea if I am just way over thinking this or if I'm right to be upset. I don't even know how to bring this up to him. Is it reasonable to be hurt over things you weren't supposed to hear? I have no idea how long he's thought those things about me but I suddenly feel like he secretly thinks I'm disgusting and it's probably going to leave. Is that a ridiculous thing to worry about? Should I drop it?
TL;DR I came home but my boyfriend didn't realize and I overheard him telling embarrassing stories and insulting my appearance to his friends.
Submitted December 21, 2019 at 04:22AM by needingsomegrinput https://ift.tt/36YbYkw
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