My wife (34F) rarely makes passes at me (34M), and I notice no other women are either. It really hurts my confidence and is weighing on my mind and I don’t know what to do. Any help?

My wife is the greatest. We’ve been married well over a decade now. We have an awesome thing together I’m really content with, I don’t know how I got so lucky.

Something that’s happened in recent years though is she has gotten a little more introverted as time has gone on. I think that’s fine and natural, I certainly have in some ways as well. But one side effect of that I’ve noticed is that she rarely seems to notice me. She rarely makes a pass at me, rarely compliments me, rarely flirts with me, things like that have just gotten more sparse. I’ve put some thought into this and I do know she gets that from me. I think because she has gotten so comfortable in our marriage and with me in general, combined with being more introverted, it isn’t a priority for her anymore. I’ve talked with her about it, but after many amicable conversations about it, I’ve learned it’s something I just have to adapt to and live with.

It isn’t really just her either, I find that women in general don’t seem to notice I exist. When I was a little younger or had a little more confidence, I’d get fun comments or looks every now and then. That just never happens anymore, and it makes me question my worth. Those little things can be huge boosts of confidence, and they’ve slowly dwindled to nothing recently. I notice single or younger friends get hit on all the time, so when I don’t even earn a look at all, it just kind of sometimes makes me feel worthless in comparison.

I want to make it really clear though, I have no desire whatsoever to cheat on my wife or do anything even close to that. We’ve built a great life together that I know many would love to have or are envious of. I’d never dream of messing that up. If any opportunity ever did come up, I would probably just freak out and take the easiest exit out, and then feel awful about it. Even though my wife isn’t the most expressive much of the time, I wouldn’t trade the lazy evenings I have with her and the silly conversations I have with her for anything.

Still though, I’m really frustrated and not feeling great about myself. I know I am a chasmatic and attractive guy, but I rarely feel like I have evidence to back that up. I dress well, get nice haircuts, treat people like I want to be treated, and try to be genuine. Still, I kind of feel like the furniture in the room, something people take for granted and don’t notice until it’s gone or broken. I’m missing the confidence I once had, and would really love anything at all to kickstart it back up again.

Anyone have any advice on how to confront the situation? I’m not sure what to do.

TLDR - My wife rarely makes a pass on me or compliments me, and I don’t notice anything like that from any other women either. My confidence is shot and I’d really like to find a way to get it back.

Submitted October 31, 2019 at 08:00PM by ExistingStudy https://ift.tt/2qaNyEm