My partner and I have been together for 5 years, we met when I was 18. I was studying at the time. He was in town for work. He ended up having to go back to his home town and we did long distance.
After a year of doing long distance. I left school and forfeited getting my Degree to move to his hometown and live with him.
After living in his hometown for close to a year, he had to go overseas for work. I again packed up my life and moved with him.
Everything was great for a while, until one day, out of the blue, I received a message from a girl on facebook. She told me that 18 months into our relationship, while my partner was in MY HOMETOWN for work and I was in his hometown, he had slept with her and cheated on me.
I confronted him about it and told him I was breaking up with him. Although in my fragile frame of mind, I decided to actually stay together and see if we could work through it. I never told anyone about it.
A month later we moved back to our home country. I was feeling very confused, I messaged a friend for advice and asked if I should cheat on him so we could be even. He went through my messages and called me in a panic saying that he was thinking about looking at rings and that he wanted to propose.
We ended up going to look at rings together and I picked one out. He proposed the day before he had to leave the country for work again. It felt weird, uncomfortable and I almost had a gut feeling that it wasn't right. But I was so excited by the fact that I was finally getting that commitment and I went along with it. I thought it would change how I was feeling and make me feel more connected and confident in our relationship. I was wrong. At this point, we had been together for 3 years.
It is now 5 years into our relationship. For the last 2 years, I have been feeling deeply confused, I have had little to no sex drive, pain during sex. It's getting to the point where I am grossed out by him touching me & when I see him check me out I think "here we go again, now he's going to want sex". I do really love him but I no longer feel attracted to him and it feels like I love him as more of a brother than a romantic partner.
I am currently living in a small town overseas with him, while he works. I have no friends, none of my own money, I haven't seen my family in almost a year. I even have a baby sister who is 18 months old, who I haven't seen all year. I'm feeling depressed and lonely and I'm not sure if the way I'm feeling is due to my mental health or if it's just the relationship.
Do you think that our relationship can recover from this? Have you experienced "the ick" in a relationship and had it work out in the end? Can you become attracted to your partner again after losing your desire for them?
TL;DR: My partner cheated on me early into our relationship and now I don't feel attracted to him.
Submitted November 23, 2019 at 01:36AM by g-uacamole- https://ift.tt/34gtdwK
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