My [22f] boyfriend's [24m] "beach bum" lifestyle is getting old and I'm not sure he'll ever give it up.

Hi everyone,

I'm getting worried about my relationship with my boyfriend "John" over his lifestyle and just would like some advice, please.

John is a surfer. Surfing has been a huge part of his life since high school.

I really loved that at first. In the three years we have been together we spent most of our free time at the beach. We had campfires, singing, beer, and of course, lots of surfing.

But after all this time, I'm getting tired of going to the beach all the time. I love the beach, but some times I want to go for a nice night in town, or have a nice dinner. John always fights wanting to go with me because he wants to go to the beach instead.

I understand he loves the beach, but we already spend most of our time there, and sometimes I would just like to do something else as a couple. And even when I can pry him away from the water for a couple hours, the mood usually gets ruined anyway because he sulks the whole time and it feels disappointing when I dress up for a dinner with him while he wants to go in swimming trunks and flip flops.

I really started having problems a couple weeks ago. I got accepted at a college a couple hours inland and told John about it. He seemed unimpressed and asked if I really wanted to go there. I asked why he seemed upset and he said he has been wanting to move in together but doesnt want to live that far inland.

We argued a bit but didnt come to a solution.

The other big issue I have is his career prospects. He has mostly gotten by working in resorts or shops near the beach. But he job hops all the time after getting in trouble for stuff like calling in sick when he thinks the surf will be good. This means I wind up helping him on gas or food alot. I have urged him to try and keep a decent job, he tells me he doesnt want that kind of life, which frustrates me to no end.

We finally had a really bad fight about it today. We were hanging out, he asked if I really wanted to leave the area. I was happy for a second thinming maybe he was ready to move inland where my college is.

Instead, he asked how I would feel about moving to Hawaii. I stuttered just because that was so out of left field, but he started rolling about how I can go to the University there and we'll get some small place by the beach (of course). I told him I didnt think Hawaii was affordable for us and it lead to a big shouting fight in a parking lot before he got in his car and left me there (he was my ride). He came back after I called him 20 times and gave me a silent, angry ride home.

What to do now? I love him and how laid back he is, but is there no way to synchronize surfing and having some sort of normal life? I dont want to him to give up what he loves, I just want him to hold a job and maybe have a night away from the beach here and there. Is there any solving this?

TL;DR: Boyfriend is a hardcore surfer and beach bum. He never wants to do anything else though and I'm tired of it. Is there hope for us?

Submitted November 13, 2019 at 05:51PM by OldLetter7 https://ift.tt/2rJCMWv