Dealbreaker? Boyfriend (23m) promises to stop lying and using incognito browser. Ends up on it but says he wasn't. Is it time to just end all my (21f) trouble?

My bf and I have been together almost 2 years now. He cheated about 6 months ago. To my knowledge he never met up with anyone but he was on dating apps talking to girls. I almost left but I stayed to give him a second chance but now I moniter his phone.

(I know here is where everyone says a cheater always cheats but there are couple recovery stories so I wanted to try. And I know the monitering doesn't equal trust but I had been hoping I wouldve checked it for a while and he would've gradually earned my trust back where eventually I wouldn't need to but instead I'm in a cycle of I check his phone, it makes me feel kinda better because there's nothing obvious like a chat but there are things that make me wonder and give me anxiety at night which ultimately does not give me a lick of trust. )

A week ago he had had like 7 girls he had tried to hide on his snapchat. And there was these two women he kept looking up on facebook and insta so I asked who they all where with the condition if he lied I'd leave. He lied up the wazoo. He made all these stories that made no sense about how Facebook and insta (didn't) work to explain it all. I got out of the car, done with it, start to change all my passwords and 10 minutes later he texts "come out I'll tell you the truth now"

And he did. I think. Or at least part? Except he still said the girls he added on snapchat where from quick add. I just don't know who would randomly follow only a bunch of girls. But I have no proof I guess.

I know I shouldn't have but I gave him one more chance. Now with one more rule in place. No incognito on the browser.

I didn't look through his phone but he had opened safari last night and closed it and I could see the dark of the icognito browser meaning he was on it. (Note: it wasn't just dark mode because the incognito one is the one that has the words on the broswer saying it's private and whatnot, I wouldn't have been so concerned I was unsure about that) The next morning it was back to white so I asked him if he had ever been on the incognito. He said no. So I even tried asking what about by accident (which I wouldn't have really believed but did give him a way out) and he again said no.

That and he's looking up a woman he says is from school (because I guess he was just had a million female friends all from hs?) But I saw on his old account (he was on it) old chats with her that kinda made it seem like they never even met. But he was calling her gorgeous and all that but also telling her his name was something else. (If they where from hs why would he lie about his name to her) Now this happened before we dated but she left him on read and now all the sudden he's looking her up all over the place. He does that with a lot of girls. They didn't talk to him in years and he'll go and cyber stalk them. But not the guys. Which is why it makes me uncomfortable. Because even if he's not talking to them I don't get why he needs to check up on all his old crushes. (Which is why I asked for the no incognito, so I know he's not talking to anyone on some site.)Sorry, 'friends from school'. It makes me insecure especially as they're all gorgeous. And I just don't get why. I don't search up every guy I've ever seen, especially while in a relationship.

But other than that our relationship seems fine. We don't fight as much, he's been having me stay over like almost every day. And it all seems pretty damn good until I notice a lie.

TDLR: Boyfriend promises to stop lying and using incognito browser or we'd break up. A week later and he's on incognito and lying about it.

Submitted November 21, 2019 at 10:16AM by ThrowRA2112 https://ift.tt/2KJUL5G