VERYY LONG POST. SORRY, I NEED TO LET IT ALL OUT. (I’m on mobile sorry for format)
Okay so, me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years now and we have a 2 year old. We’ve been living peacefully as a family (in a 3rd country I won’t name). Anyway this country has been having problems = bad for business so the company he was working for was not paying him on time (3 months). It was a little difficult for us but I had a temporary job for 7 months that was paying really well and on time.
He decided to quit his job and my part time job also ended. But he got all his money that was owed to him and I managed to save up a pretty good amount. We wanted to go for vacation but since airfare tickets were expensive we decided that I go to my country first and he goes to his country with our baby and that I will follow them there. We planned that after the vacation we’d bring a specific amount of money each and we’d go back to the 3rd country and start looking for new jobs and get our old life back.
Fast forward, the second day I got here he asked me to move here and live with his parents while looking for a job. Basically leave everything behind and just start a new one here. I was really hesitant and didn’t think it was a good idea but they convinced me by saying my child would grow up happier in a European country etc.
2 months here and it has been nothing but hell. His parents are always angry about us living with them and make us pay “contribution” (they don’t have pension) for our food expenses (which I don’t mind) but there’s always a problem. My boyfriend spent all his money on them. And now they expect me to spend all my money here but I’m already giving per our agreement. They were the ones who got in his head about moving here before I came. Now he regrets it and I even told him it was his fault and that he would choose his parents over me and our child.
He can’t find a job AT ALL. Whether it’s here or back where we lived. I feel so bad for him and he’s pressured. But he has also lashed out on me multiple times by making unnecessary and childish problems. The number 1 reason he fights me is that I don’t want to have sex with him. I honestly don’t know either why I don’t want to but I always told him that it was after giving birth that I just didn’t want to have sex that much anymore. And I guess there’s this resentment inside me that I quit college because he got me pregnant but he always chose his parents over us and never asks or listens to me when I should be his partner. I feel alone and I can honestly say that I am very angry that he dragged me in this situation when we were living in harmony.
I can’t believe how irresponsible he was to lose more than half his money before I got here and now it’s all gone and he can’t find a job. I can’t work here since my residence permit is not even granted yet. We agreed that I take my baby back to my country because my mother offered me an alternative of putting up a business she will finance and that he can have time to figure out how we’ll live here on our own after he finds a job (My mother doesn’t acknowledge my baby nor him so he’s not welcome).
Last night, he flipped out because I didn’t want to show him my phone because of a GAME and is now accusing me of cheating on him and that we’re over and he said so many hurtful things about me being ungrateful and I used him.
There’s literally nothing I’m hiding I just don’t like the idea of someone going though my phone and I’ve always been insecure about it because of some trauma caused by previous relationships. AND HE KNEW OF THIS EVER SINCE WE MET.
Today he wanted to talk but I didn’t want to anymore after all he said and he grabbed my phone from me. When I tried to take it from him he grabbed me aggressively and pushed me down. Twice. And then he continued abusing me with his words.
I can financially leave and take my baby with me, I’m just worried I won’t have anything left after paying for our tickets. I feel so alone and confused on what to do now.
Option 1: I take my baby with me to the 3rd country and look for a new job. (Or leave him here while looking for a job, I don’t know)
Option 2: go back to my country with my baby and start a business
Basically, I’m much more concerned on whether I should take my baby or leave him here. I can’t live without him but I want what’s best for him. I don’t want to bring him where I’ll be struggling.
EDIT: I do have sex with him just not as much as he wants.
EDIT2: I’m not taking away our child from him forever. It’s not like I’m just gonna up and leave without a word and never expect to ever see him again. We both want what’s good for our baby so for that part I know we can have proper communication.
TLDR: my boyfriend spent all his money on his parents, now he can’t find a job. I don’t actively have sex with him and when I didn’t let him check my phone he accused me of cheating and became aggressive with me. I don’t know if I should take my baby with me or not
Submitted September 02, 2019 at 10:05AM by sadmomm https://ift.tt/2LgKrTt
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