I (26F) am interested in a widowed guy (40M) with whom I have great rapport and chemistry, but he won’t initiate a date. Should I make the first move?

I met “Michael” earlier this year after being persuaded to join a co-ed Softball team by some friends after some resistance (Softball was never really my thing). Michael has been teammates and friends with them also for several years. From the onset, we’ve gotten along very well due to a lot of mutual interests—movies, sports, running, music. In between innings this season, we’ve been interacting with each other a lot, much more than with our other teammates. The same thing happens when the team goes to the bar after games sometimes; I often forget there’s anyone else there. I’m really liking this guy because he’s good-looking, intelligent, mature, physically active, and really a gentleman.

Despite all this, he hasn’t asked me out. And as frustrating as it is, I can’t say I really blame him. I learned that his wife and daughter were killed in a car accident about 3 years ago (his wife was somewhat of a local celebrity in my city—she was in the TV news media—so I actually remember hearing about the accident). I know people grieve differently and the timetable isn’t the same for everyone. I’m wondering if 3 years is still too soon for Michael. Also, under normal circumstances, I might take the initiative if the guy was hesitant, but I don’t want to step on Michael’s toes if he’s not ready.

There might be other factors too. He’s raising his son by himself and is preoccupied with that a lot (he sometimes comes to the games with Michael and he’s a really nice kid), so maybe he just wants to focus on parenting right now. Or he might have qualms about our ages, even though he looks young for being is his 40s, and I’ve always looked older than my age.

Or maybe I’m overestimating the situation and he might not be in to me at all.

The Softball season also ends soon, and I’m already ruing the possibility of not seeing him nearly as often until next Spring.

FWIW, I finally confided all of this to my best friend, who is on the team. She admitted that getting me to join the Softball team was a master plan to introduce me to another guy on the team, but that she and others have noticed that Michael and I have undeniably great chemistry and charisma together. She told me though that she doesn’t think Michael has dated much, if at all, for the past 3 years, but if by the end of the season he hasn’t done anything, I should go for it.

Reddit, what should I do? Do I bide my time and wait for Michael to make a move? Should I make a move? My heart is really aching because I’m really into this guy and I’m unsure what to do.

Tl;dr A guy whom I really like on my softball team hasn’t asked me out and it might be because it’s too soon after his wife’s death, or focusing on parenting, or maybe age issues. Unsure how to proceed.

Submitted September 06, 2019 at 07:52AM by RadioGirl258 https://ift.tt/2UB1nXY