I[22/M] was having a conversation with my GF [22/F] of about 1 year, and was wanting to get some outside perspective. We were discussing careers, and she mentioned that if I was to get an job opportunity far away, I should absolutely take it, and she would likely do the same, and that in the event that happens, we would likely take a break (which I interpreted as functionally break up) whilst we were apart, and that if we were meant to be, we would find our way back to each other.
Now I am not necessarily disagreeing with her logic, because I agree that we shouldn't be a burden on each others career aspirations, and pressuring the other to do so is being a bad partner. I also don't necessarily disagree with the breaking up part, I know that a lot of long distance relationships struggle because one of the couple could very easily get resentful of the other, and we are young enough that we shouldn't have to make sacrifices for the other person. But I can't help but feel strange about the fact that she sees me making a choice to look for good job opportunities which take into account her aspirations as 'not acheiving my absolute best self'.
For context, I am finishing my degree a year before she is, and we are both in STEM fields, but don't want to stay in academia. I am currently looking around for jobs in areas like consulting, which would afford me with a lot of flexibility in terms of location and position. I don't necessarily see being willing to move, or choosing to work in the same city, as making a sacrifice in my career, because once I have some more experience, it would be comparatively easy to move around.
I definitely don't want to hold her back, and I wouldn't ask her to make any sacrifices for me, but I really do see a future with this woman, she is amazing, and I don't necessarily value a super-busy corporate job over her. Is this too soft an attitude to take? Am I selling myself short for the sake of a relationship? Or is it alright for me to make the choice of my relationship over very rapid career progression, or some other advantage I am confident I would be able to obtain anyway with time?
TL;DR! Unsure if my atitude towards my career is making too many sacrifices for the sake of a relationship I highly value, or if I am capable of making that choice myself, any help would be highly appreciated!
Submitted September 06, 2019 at 01:18AM by throwaway237816 https://ift.tt/34p9Hyl
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