My husband and I haven’t decided if we ever want kids but we know for sure we don’t want them in the next few years. My husband is at the tail end of getting his PhD but the timing is still ambiguous, and we’re looking forward to at least a couple post-grad school pre-kid years together.
My in-laws keep bringing up our future children like it’s a for sure thing. I understand they’re looking forward to being grandparents but I really don’t like that they haven’t asked us what we want or shown any openness to the idea that we might choose a different path for ourselves. I feel a lot of resentment that we’re being subjected to very traditional assumptions about how a relationship should progress. We’ve got careers and personal goals, we didn’t get married for the sole purpose of starting a family.
The offhand comments they make are frustrating but manageable, but they’ve also started making big displays in public or social situations that are very embarrassing. At a friend’s engagement party my MIL brought a newborn over to us and said very loudly, “Smell the baby! I want you two to look how cute she is!” And on and on, and of course everyone laughed and started talking about it and my husband and I just forced smiles and didn’t say much in response.
Is there a good way to tactfully explain to them that we don’t know right now if we will have kids, and ask them to stop bringing it up so often? I’m very nervous about how they will react but I don’t think we can endure years of this.
TL;DR How do my husband and I tell my in-laws that we might not want kids?
Submitted July 13, 2019 at 08:58PM by graceandthunder https://ift.tt/2jNqY21
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