My (28f) boyfriend (36M) of 8 years refuses to go to the doctor/make lifestyle changes although something is obviously wrong

There’s A LOT wrong with our relationship and I feel like if he took his mental and physical health seriously not only would our relationship improve and we could move forward but he would be better just for himself and his future. Due to a mental health issue that came to light a few years ago and almost ruined our lives because he wouldn’t acknowledge the problem, he’s on disability and does not work. I work full time, working my way through the corporate world because I want better and know I can achieve it despite obstacles. I’ve worked so hard to get us to stable place (homeless with nothing to almost everything now). A real life glo up.

Anyways, every single morning he wakes up with stomach pains. While I’m at work, he will not eat anything until I get home around dinner time and we decide what to eat. He might nibble on a piece of bread, a yogurt, and some juice. That’s all his stomach will allow. Usually he ends up stuffing himself at night. Often he’ll drink several beers or whatever alcohol we have on an empty stomach during the day. He never eats any fruits (unless there’s an occasional Naked smoothie) and he doesn’t eat any vegetables besides the romaine salad that he drowns in dressing. Lately he’s been having chest pains/heartburn. He gets concerned about it because it’s painful, but as soon as it goes away he forgets that’s it’s something that needs to be checked out. He’s ALWAYS tired for someone who has zero responsibilities during the day except for maybe grocery shopping or small errands like that. Sometimes he’ll sleep through the night which is usually after we or just him has been drinking. But if he drank too much that means he’ll be up in the middle of the throwing up. Happens a few times a week. Then if he doesn’t drink he tosses, turns, huff and puffs, and gets angry and irritated that he can’t fall asleep while I’m trying to sleep because I have work in the morning. He doesn’t exercise at all. I try to get him to walk around the block with me and he looks at me like I’m crazy. And because we don’t live within 10mins of “nicer”walking trail, exercise is out of the question. That’s his excuse.

He is much bigger than when we first met and that was mostly due to the medication he was taking for his mental health. He’s stopped taking said medication back in November of last year. Fine, I didn’t argue, and his doctor gave him the ok. Now since he has trouble sleeping almost every night, he has started taking a natural sleeping aid which he’s pairing with a sleeping pill he found at the pharmacy. And the icing on the cake, when those don’t work he pulls out his old medication and takes those which will completely knock him out for hours. Those pills are known for “bringing you down” and making you tired, but they fuck with the chemicals in your brain. You can’t just take one whenever you fell like it or skip days. Either you’re on it or not. I keep telling him he needs to make lifestyle changes and go to the damn doctor. He keeps saying no and he doesn’t go to the doctor (except the few time while on meds for mental health). And it bugs me because he’s so in an uproar about the US not wanting to give everyone free healthcare, but he has free fucking healthcare due being on a state funded program and refuses to use it.

Obviously there’s a lot going on here that ties in with his string of mental health concerns. I just don’t know what to do. There’s so much pressure because I’m the only person he has in his life. Literally, and it’s been really hard. We’ve argued so much lately about our future and how I’m progressing, making goals and he’s just not and is content with being nothing.There’s an essay worth things left out here, but I hope it’s enough to get some kind of advice and just be able to vent. Thanks for the ready everyone.

TL;DR - Boyfriend of 8 years refuse to go to the doctor to check on his mental and physical health needs. He’s been complaining of multiple health concerns which has put a huge strain on our relationship along with many other things. He’s too content with not moving forward in life/has negative outlook and want me to drop long term commitment/hard deadline talks.

Submitted July 14, 2019 at 11:40AM by pebbleslulu https://ift.tt/2XQUfXs