Husband (M29) wanting to explore his feelings for men, but not actually saying until I (F27) see a receipt for PrEP

Hi Reddit, looking for advice on what feels like a surreal situation in my marriage. Something happened tonight which confused me.

Starting with the facts: I know my husband has an attraction for men which I have known for approx 20% of our relationship. I am supportive in his feelings and this is no issue for me. He has never explored this and only had relationships/ sexual contact with women. Previously I’ve noticed he has Grindr pop up as a visited site on his tablet which he doesn’t allow me to use. My husband is also planning a solo hiking trip in the summer for a long weekend.

When using our home computer an email receipt for PrEP drugs popped up - drugs that aim to reduce the chance of an individual contracting the HIV virus. I found this upsetting and quite jarring - why does he need this? What has he done?

So in an effort to stay calm I approached him to explain I don’t want to invade his privacy but given the nature of the medication I feel my health could be at risk and that I deserve an explanation. Obviously uncomfortable, he claimed it was a mistake and intended to buy something else. Not convincing but clearly wasn’t going to engage further with me so I left it. I then checked the email account for anything and noticed he had accounts on Bumble. I logged in and read several innocent reading chats - most which reference his interest in making friends and having a wife. Almost all with women. Nothing too untoward.

Later in the day he told me he had planned to ask me if he could explore his interest in men whilst on his hiking trip, that he’s meant to tell me but the time never came up. I told him I wanted him to be happy and not to settle for a life with me if he felt it wasn’t who he was, but he was adamant that wasn’t the case. I asked about Bumble which he said was just for friend making.

So all that baggage aside - do I give my husband my blessing to pursue what is essentially a casual hook up with another man whilst on a weekend break? It’s weird even writing this. I know he is confused and I just want him to be happy. But I don’t think him sleeping with another man is going to solve the issue, and I can’t imagine this not causing issues in the long term. And the chat sites. I just don’t know if I’m being taken for a fool here.

Any thoughts are much appreciated. I don’t really feel in a position to discuss this with people in my personal life

TL;DR : Husband wanting to act on his bisexual feelings, didn’t tell but was planning on a casual sex weekend which he prepped for by buying anti viral HIV drugs. Looking for permission to continue with plans. Frankly no idea on how to continue

Submitted July 01, 2019 at 04:21PM by DoorFrameLid https://ift.tt/323I9NL