Hello!
I've been seeing my wife for 5 years and we got married 3 years ago and everything is going really well.
We're getting into our late 20's and both of us have full time jobs and we're due to move into a house soon... so the question of kids has come up a few times.
For many reasons and for many years I've felt I don't want kids. I'm just not that type of person, the urge to have kids never really hit me. When I was 20, I thought I would mature and it would eventually come. I've tried being around them, I've tried asking friends and family what's so great about kids... etc. I just don't think it's for me.
My wife wants kids... but, she's not very comfortable around kids and whenever she has to interact with one, she'll tell me how awkward it is. Last time she commented to me afterwards, 'I am so not ready to have kids'. She knows I don't have strong feelings against kids, but I've never out right said 'no, we won't have kids'. When we talk about our future she always phrases things like, 'if we have kids... we'll do this'. I feel the pressure that one day she does expect kids.
I want to talk to her about this and i'm not sure how to do it. I don't want our marriage to go to be ruined because of this. I think we're great together and we've talked about being together long term.. so i'm not sure how to proceed.
TL;DR: I don't want kids, I'm pretty sure my wife does at some point. How do I talk to her without ruining our marriage?
Edit: We did talk about kids before getting married. We always agreed kids were a possibility. It was never an explicitly yes or no. She has never explicitly told me 'I want kids'. Since getting married I've switched from kids being a possibility to it being a hard no.
Submitted July 24, 2019 at 03:22AM by account4personal https://ift.tt/2Oq25YK
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