Hey relationships:
I've been sitting on this for a while, but I need some solid advice.
I was seeing my partner for over a year and a half at the time of the breakup. It was incredibly sudden, and what followed was a rollercoaster of emotions and a week where I was being strung along while my ex wouldn't talk to me. She was convinced I had cheated while I hadn't.
Eventually, a sit-down conversation was had. It did not go well. I don't want to go into too much detail, but it was very berating and there was an audience of friends alongside her. When it was clear we weren't seeing eye to eye, she told me to "get the f*$& out". She went to cry with her friends, and I left her apartment key on the table.
I immediately stopped communication at this point, despite her sending me a text asking if I got home safe, and a follow-up text the next morning stating that "In case it wasn't clear, we're done." That is when I blocked and deleted.
The next few days I received messages from all members of her family asking me to talk to her and reconcile. Apparently she had gone home to her family and was stricken with grief. Her family messaged me saying that this "misunderstanding can be fixed" and to talk to her. It eventually accumulated into her changing her number to contact me again, telling me she still loves me and doesn't want to break up, but that I should let her know if "I want to make the breakup permanent."
A week later, I received an angry message saying that my family is manipulating me for convincing me to not talk to her, and that she never agreed to No Contact. Therefore I was ghosting her. She then tried to hack my social media (I noticed when my login IPs registered at her apartment).
A final call to her parents ended this.
Now, almost a year out, I still have trouble dealing with whether or not I should feel guilty. I guess it ultimately comes down to the No Contact rule and whether I should've stated "I'm not talking to you."
Tl;dr: Ex breaks up with me after bringing her friends to the public execution, gets mad when I won't reply afterwards, and has her family attempt to establish contact before harassing me over text for going no contact without "authorization." Should I feel guilty for not contacting?
Edit: Since a few commenters are mentioning that she reached out to apologize, I should make it clear that never once did she actually apologize. She simply said she didn't want to break up, but not once rescinded her accusations or said that she was sorry for what she said and did. And yes, some things she said during the breakup were incredibly harsh.
Edit 2: Since there's a lot of conversation going around about me feeling "guilty", let me better explain. What I want to ask is whether or not I did the right thing, and whether or not I should've sat down after the fact and told her that No Contact will occur. I should also add that after the harassment she sent me, I don't feel guilty for No Contact, as her messages clearly showed me that I wouldn't have wanted to talk to her again anyway.
Submitted July 25, 2019 at 11:33AM by sempler45 https://ift.tt/2M9G8u6
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