I am in an open relationship with Lewis. He's also been casually seeing a girl Anne, as friends with benefits. She knows about me but until recently, we hadn't met.
I've had a few one night stands but I'd never gotten a regular FWB.
One of the rules about our open relationship is that on nights that we're together, we don't spend time with other sex partners, we don't try and screw other people, were together as a couple. That's so neither of us feels ignored as the other tries to get laid with someone else.
On Lewis's birthday, he was having a big party. A bonfire party way out in the woods, we'd be using a few Uber XLs to get out of the city and back, so nobody would have to drive. He said he invited Anne just as a friend, but i felt a little weird about it. Like it was breaking the rule of not hanging out with hookups in front of your partner. She wouldn't know anyone but Lewis at the party so they'd probably hang out unless he very rudely ignored her.
I told him this and we agreed he didn't have to uninvite her because that would be mean, but he wouldn't do it again. And at the party, he'd put me first and just treat her like any other friend.
So at the party, it was awkward at first meeting her and getting introduced. She seemed shocked to see me, like she hasn't expected me to be there.
Lewis didn't spend much time with her at the party, as he'd promised, and I actually started to feel bad, she didn't have anyone to talk to really, she was trying to meet people but it looked like she was spending a lot of time alone. Lewis's friends are a rowdy bunch and she seemed more soft spoken. She couldn't really leave easily either, since the plan was for everyone to leave way later in shared Ubers. We were way out in the woods and a solo Uber would be pricy.
So i went to talk, rather tipsy by then. I apologized for putting her in a weird situation. Turns out I was right to guess that Lewis hasn't explained I'd be there. And she was in the awkward situation of coming over expecting to party and hook up, and suddenly getting introduced to me as the girlfriend she hadn't planned on meeting.
Somehow we ended up talking for hours after that, the apology turned to just clearing the air about our relationships with Lewis, turned to talking about our relationship history, turned to basically spilling our life stores to each other, turned to making drunken plans to go camping together because it turned out we both love camping but don't have anyone who'd want to go, in our social circles. We literally talked nonstop from 10 pm to 3 am, when the party started to wrap up.
The next morning, Anne texted me like "Thanks for turning my night around yesterday! We still going camping? I'd be so down" And I said that I'd love to. It didn't occur to me that Lewis would be bothered. It has literally never come up as an issue, when we'd talked about how to navigate an open relationship. Also, all of my friends who are in non-exclusive or non traditional relationships love it when their multiple partners get along.
So I told Lewis that even though I'd expected meeting Anne to be weird, it was actually really chill, and we even had plans to go camping.
He said right away that he didn't think it would be a good idea.
I asked why, and he just said it would feel weird, that he would rather keep the two parts of his life compartmentalized to avoid possible drama.
Which seemed a little strange to me, he was the one to bring us together when I didn't necessarily want that. Not to sound childish, but it feels like "he started it"!
So, that's where we stand now. I'd love to build a friendship with Anne and I don't know why that has to be such a big deal. It's rare for me to meet someone i click with so immediately, and can talk to for hour hours on end.
tl;dr - I want to be friends with my boyfriend's FWB. We want to go camping together and my boyfriend is uncomfortable with that, he wants to keep the 2 relationships more compartmentalized
Submitted June 20, 2019 at 01:59PM by openelationship44 http://bit.ly/2NahPOy
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