I [31M] convinced my girlfriend [22F] to move across the country to live under the same roof, 3 months later she resents me for stealing her happiness and I don't know how to give it back.

The backstory is a "met on instagram, fell in love, moved across the country" story. We talked for 6 months before making the decision to live in the same city... under the same roof. Admittedly, I didn't have the structure to bring her into my world, I don't have a job but I've done well to invest money that I don't have to stress just yet. We were also paying for a flight once a month to see each other. So she moved in.

It slowly started to break down. We'd get in little arguments. I misread her comments as negative or rude, I snapped at her a few times, admittedly I look at what I did and think I treated her more as an accessory and not like someone I truly love. I pushed her away, far away. She finally suggested I talk to someone because I was clearly taking out my frustrations on her, nothing physical! Just verbal miscommunication that lead to fights about nothing. After talking to someone I feel like I can breath, she was absolutely right, and I'm working through deeper issues. It's allowing me to feel more confident, open, and overall happy. It's allowed me to be more relaxed and easy going, it's also opened my eyes to what it means to be romantic again. I've brought home flowers, made videos of us having fun from when we were dating distance, and generally bring positivity to the table. I feel I'm bringing my positive upbeat self back.

However, she is now so deep under a nasty depressive cloud. I do love her, I know that we brought the best out of each other and I believe that living together was the mistake. She agrees and is in the process of getting her own space. She's also opened up to me that she can't stand being around me. She hates coming home. She worked for years to find the happiness that made up her personality and now it's gone. She says she comes home under this cloud, looks at me, and thinks, "you did this to me, you took my happiness."

I realize my mistakes. I know I'm a horrible person for what I did and I'm working on fixing it. I know I love her. But I hate having to sit still and hear the depression in her voice, like her soul has been taken, mono tone responses. She says she still loves me despite the resentment. How can I help her feel happiness? How do I help bring her out from under that cloud when she holds so much resentment toward me for putting her there in the first place?

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TL;DR : I treated her like an accessory so much that she's now depressed and unhappy yet claims she still loves me despite resenting me for it. How do I help her find happiness again? Find love? Is there love?

Submitted June 20, 2019 at 08:03PM by ThatDuder http://bit.ly/2WRuh5v