I've been dating someone for about three months, and I'm just now starting to realize that some of his behaviors get on my nerves. However, I don't know if there's something wrong with me as a girlfriend that I need to work on, or if he really is too clingy. Is there a measure of clingy-ness that's expected in a relationship?
My boyfriend texts constantly. When we were flirty, I thought it was a cute expression of interest. Now, after I text "Sorry, I'm working. I'll text later," and he follows up with 10-12 texts, I feel myself getting frustrated and resentful. He also calls constantly without warning, which is something I dislike even in my friendships. I have asked him many times to give me some time to respond and to set up a scheduled time we can call each other when we're both free, but he responds with, "That's not how calls work! They're supposed to be a surprise!"
If I put down my phone for a while to read or work, he'll manipulate me into texting him back with "Help!" or "I'm dying! You won't believe what's happening!" until I respond with "What's wrong!?" Then, he'll just go on to tell me about his day and never tell me what was "wrong." If I don't fall for it and don't respond at all for a few hours while I work, drive, or visit a friend, he acts like I've treated him like dirt. He'll say, "I was really lonely today," "I guess I just need to hold somebody," or something equally dramatic.
He's also told me he dreams of me every night, thinks of me all day long, and talks about me to his friends and family constantly. He's written me long letters, poems, and songs. He texts long paragraphs about how beautiful and perfect I am, and how I fulfill all his fantasies. When we hang out, all he wants to do is cuddle and make out for hours on end. He asks if he can visit every single day, even if I'd seen him the day before. I'm realizing that this level of intensity isn't attractive to me at all. In fact, it kind of creeps me out.
The problem is, my family thinks he's the sweetest guy ever. He brings me flowers, goes out of his way to buy me gifts (although I've told him it makes me uncomfortable). He wants to take me on trips, opens car doors for me, and is really a very kind and generous guy. If I told my family I was going to break up with him, they'd never understand how I could break such a sweet guy's heart. I'd really feel like a bad person to break it off, and I'm not sure what I would say.
As someone who hasn't been in many serious relationships, I want to know: am I just not a romantic person? Do I need to take some time to work on myself and my role as a girlfriend? Or is this behavior too clingy and intense? Thank you for your help!
TL;DR: Boyfriend texts, calls, and invites himself over to cuddle multiple times a day and it creeps me out. Is this clingy behavior or am I just not a romantic person?
Submitted June 24, 2019 at 11:01PM by Jaded_War http://bit.ly/2YeyTEq
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