My [26M] fiancee [25F] of 4 years embarrassed me in public and refuses to take responsibility for what she did.

My fiancee had the very simple task of just accompanying me to a gala that was focused on a client at my work. They’re very important and I know how she is, so I specifically told her to refrain from discussing any sort of controversial issues if not prompted first. In fact, it was my preference that she not say anything at all about anything like that, but this was my compromise in that stating your position respectfully if asked would be fine. This is necessary because the client does business she may disagree with personally (oil company).

Instead of honoring our agreement as we had laid out in great detail, she just basically disregarded it completely and embarrassed herself and almost me. Out of the blue she just starts talking about the dangers of fracking, the placement of certain pipelines, climate change, and even criticized one of their executives, who is a former lawmaker in a party she personally disagrees with, to his face. I had to basically force her out the door. I apologized and said that she was a massive lightweight and that those glasses of wine were probably getting to her, and ordered her an uber to go home. I apologized to them profusely afterwards, and thankfully things went well. Two of them said they had daughters, so they know what it's like, and that I handled it well.

The specific goals we had in mind for their business have basically been achieved, but I can’t believe that she would just embarrass me like that. We had specifically agreed on this beforehand. I said that if she wasn’t able to handle it, staying home would have been a fine option. She doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with what she did, and pontificates about the issues without accepting that she reneged on our agreement, violated my trust, and embarrassed me in public.

I’m extremely angry that she did this, and I’m even angrier that she refuses to accept that what she did was wrong and apologize. Is there any way I can frame this to help her understand my viewpoint? Is this behavior and refusal to take responsibility indicative of larger issues she has?

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tl;dr: Fiancee embarrassed me in public by grandstanding in an inappropriate venue and refuses to accept that what she did was wrong.

Submitted March 01, 2019 at 03:50PM by simonbread https://ift.tt/2HbwxAC