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How do I (28F) tell my friend (27F) that her boyfriend’s (33M) behavior is rude and unacceptable?

TLDR at the end.

Mary and I have been friends since childhood. She’s been dating this guy Mark for a year and he hasn’t made a great impression on me and I’m reaching a point where I feel like I need to flat out tell Mary that Mark is an ass and that she can do way better. Here are some things that happened with Mark:

  1. He’s a bad house guest. My boyfriend and I invited Mary and Mark to our home for the weekend. He called his friends who live in the area, gave them our address, and invited them over without asking for permission from me or my boyfriend. His friends arrived and were waiting on our porch when he finally asked if he can let them in. What was I supposed to do at that point? Then he said he was going to some local bar with them, and that we could pick him up when we were ready to go out for dinner later in the evening. Mary did not go with them. So basically, he invited strangers into my home without asking and then left his girlfriend behind while he hung out with his friends and then demanded to be picked up from the bar, as if I was his chauffeur or something. I was waiting for Mary to speak up and say “Mark that’s rude, you can’t just invite people over, this isn’t our house.” But Mary didn’t say anything.

  2. My boyfriend and I met up with Mary and Mark in their neighborhood for drinks one evening. The guys ordered beers, Mary and I ordered rum and cokes. My boyfriend offered to buy the first round. Mark pulled out his wallet and said “I got this. You can get the next one.” When we went to order our second round of drinks, we ordered the same things, except this time Mark ordered an expensive drink that was over $30. My boyfriend paid because Mark had gotten the first round. I thought that was incredibly sneaky of him to offer to buy drinks when he ordered a $5 beer, but then ordered a $35 drink when he know someone else was paying for it. Again, Mary didn’t say anything to Mark about this being rude.

  3. Mark does acting for a hobby and invited us to see a show he was performing in. My boyfriend and I went to support him. After the show, we got drinks. Mary ordered one drink for herself and then tried to pay for it with her card, but there was a $20 minimum. Mary didn’t have cash on her, so I suggested she order two drinks and either drink them both or give one to Mark, but she didn’t want to do that (I don’t understand why??) Mark was just standing there like an idiot.. we were waiting for him to pay for Mary’s drink but after an awkward couple of minutes, my boyfriend pulled cash out of his wallet and paid for Mary’s drink. Both Mary and Mark disappeared afterwards and didn’t hang out with us, which was so rude considering we drove over an hour to see them.

  4. When I visited Mary and spent the night at her house, Mark ordered a pizza for us. He only let me eat one slice and then put the rest away, even though I said I would take a second slice. When he was a guest in my house, they got their own room and bathroom, I cooked breakfast for him, and drove him around everywhere. But this asshole wouldn’t let me have two slices of pizza.

  5. He posts politically charged comments on my social media. He publicly berates me for my political views.

It sucks because I love Mary and I want to support her. She’s never been happier, and I’m happy that she’s happy, but Mark is just so terrible. And it’s starting to rub off onto her because Mary has been starting to act like him too and she doesn’t call him out on his bullshit. Am I justified in thinking he’s terrible or am I being unreasonable?

TL;DR: my friend’s boyfriend is incredibly rude, but he seems to make my friend happy. How do I deal with this?



Submitted March 01, 2019 at 12:03PM by eatapeach18 https://ift.tt/2NDqZQe
How do I (28F) tell my friend (27F) that her boyfriend’s (33M) behavior is rude and unacceptable? How do I (28F) tell my friend (27F) that her boyfriend’s (33M) behavior is rude and unacceptable? Reviewed by KING SAMUEL on March 01, 2019 Rating: 5

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