I (25M) caught pretty serious feelings for one of my closest female friends (23F) and have been going back and forth for the past 8 months on whether or not to say anything. To those of you who confessed, how did it impact your friendship?

Long post ahead. Sorry!

I've never been in a relationship/had a girlfriend. I'm not exactly the most confidant guy when it comes to pursuing women so anytime there's been a girl I'm interested in, I would catch feelings for a little while before I get scared of getting hurt and being vulnerable and would always just stop myself by saying "it's never going to work out". I would settle for being good/close friends and that was it.

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So I met the subject/girl, and let's call her Stacy, of today's post 2 years ago through a female classmate, who we'll call Alexa, in the 1st year of my graduate program. It's not like there were sparks flying or anything from the get go, but we got along pretty well and became good friends since I hung out with Alexa a decent amount. This past July, Alexa and I started working on a big project and Stacy was also attached to the project. Stacy and I ended up working pretty closely together, and after getting to know each other, I realized how much we had in common and I started to catch feelings.

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Normally I would have quashed the feelings as I had in the past and just tried to stay friends. However something about my connection to Stacy felt more real than other girls in the past so I decided that I while I wouldn't say anything to her (big mistake I know...I should have just been open and honest from the get-go, but like I said, I've never been the direct kind of guy), I would take a random leap and just let my feelings grow. Then in September, Stacy herself enters the same grad program that I'm in and we basically start hanging out all the time.

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I was never open and honest about my feelings (like I know I should have been), but over the course of last semester, I would just continue to grow closer to her. Starting 3 months ago, we would text everyday from morning to midnight. Not a day has gone by where we didn't have a full conversation that lasted the whole day. I'm not sure if this is normal to some people, but even with my sister and closest guy friends, I don't text them everyday. Even then, it would be just a few quick texts and not an all day sustained conversation like I can do with Stacy. She would make me laugh all the time, and I would make her laugh all the time. We would talk about family, school, anxiety, pretty much anything and I never got tired of talking to her. We continue to see each other pretty much everyday and hang out constantly.

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I've never been in love, but she's the first girl thats ever made me experience this deep painful feeling in my chest when I think about her. I think about her all the time and I'm constantly just thinking of different dates or things that would be fun with her. It's always hard to gauge, but I don't think I've ever sensed any indications of romantic feelings from her. I know how important physical attraction can be but, in my mind, there's just this really clear and genuine emotional and intellectual connection between us. Stacy has really become one of my closest friends over these past few months.

Now here's my dilemma: My feelings for her are only continuing to grow, but I don't know if I should say anything. I feel like I'm at this tipping point of where I need to say something, but I'm also just so scared of what admitting these feelings will do to our relationship if she ends up not reciprocating. It's amazing being able to have someone that you can talk to everyday and my relationship with her is something that I've never had with anyone else. I just don't know if she'll ever see me the same way or if we'll be able to return to the status quo.

TL;DR

Best case scenario: she feels the same way and we start dating.

Good scenario: She tells me she doesn't feel the same way. I'm crushed, but we somehow manage to continue being really close friends. How often has this happened in your experience?

Bad scenario: She respond unfavorably to my feelings, we end up drifting apart, and I lose this special friendship.

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If you read the whole thing, thank you so much for taking the time. I'm really a novice when it comes to relationships and I know that there's a bunch of things I should have done from the beginning, but this is the position that I find myself in and would love advice.

Submitted March 01, 2019 at 06:34AM by tonydaazntiger319 https://ift.tt/2tKR2w4