UPDATE: My (28/f) parents (59/m&f) are planning on putting a down payment on a house for my financially irresponsible older sister (30/f)

So a year later and everyone now is a year older. No one is that much wiser (link to the original: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/6nur1w/my28f_parents59mf_are_planning_on_putting_a_down/ )

First things first. My parents did NOT ever do a down payment on a house for her. They told her to go do research and see what she can get as far as a loan and every bank told her no. Which is what I figured might happen. The most delusional thing is, she still thinks she can afford it and still keeps looking. I asked my parents about it recently and they said, "Yea we screwed up saying we would do that. She can't ever afford a house". I asked about helping her find an apartment and that never goes anywhere. She seems very content verbally abusing my parent in their home and they let her so, no change there.

One thing that happened was the 5 of us (younger sister included) went into family therapy. For a while it was just my parents and older sister going. Trying to work on their dynamic as they are the ones who live together and battle a lot.

When I did go, it helped me a bit. He made me realize that I really shouldn't hate my older sister as much as I should be more angry with my parents. They are the ones who didnt protect me from my abusive sister.

He also paired us up, each person in the family had a partner that they were to go to when problems happened. Someone to vent to and that person was to have the other persons back in arguments, no matter how wrong they may have been. I was paired up with my older sister. It was exhausting but I really tried my best. As things usually happen, she came to me with everything and yet I never went to her. I never told her about my problems. She called me every single day to talk about hers.

One family session the therapist brought up that everyone in the room has problems. All of us are depressed. All of us have combative PTSD. Some have anxiety. My mother is an active addict. My father a narcissist, an asshole and he just doesn't care. My older sister has borderline personality disorder. It doesnt make any of us bad. It's just who we are because of our trauma. He wants us to seek individual therapy outside of seeing him. He then asked who is actually trying the tools he has taught us to communicate and I was the only one who answered. He told us that some of us were on the verge of pulling away and some of us are even on the verge of dying. Pretty serious shit for our last session, right?

Yea. You read that correctly. It was our last session. The next week we got a group text from the therapist breaking up with us. Telling us that, "I am only able to work on a few clients right now as I am having personal problems". So people could die from an overdose or suicide but oh well. No recommendation for another therapist. Nothing. Just a "be kind to one another" and "lets pick up again in the fall". Needless to say, we haven't been back. Also my older sister is adamant that she is perfectly normal and that his diagnosis is wrong and wants his license for it.

My younger sister did get married this past weekend. The only drama was from my older sister. One thing I never mentioned in the OP was that my older sister for YEARS has over stepped her boundaries with my husband. She will flirt with him, try to cuddle with him, jump into his arms, and more. I have told her repeatedly to stop, and she hasn't. She has gotten creepy over her infatuation with him. I told her last time she over stepped that if she is even to hug my husband again, she and I are done. Well, she crossed the line at the wedding. I sternly told her off (quietly) and then she proceeded to have a crying/screaming hissy fit at her table. We are done.

I told my parents I am no longer going to their house and that includes holidays until my sister is gone. I will not enable them and her by visiting anymore. My parents are more than welcome at my home, but she is not. I will not let my husband be uncomfortable anymore.

Well then on Halloween my mother fell in her bathroom and slammed her face on the bathroom sink (broke a bone in her face) and broke her pelvis. My father says she was sober. I don't believe it as my father doesn't pay any attention to things like that. Plus they waited 3 hours before they called the ambulance. I will never know the truth there, but my mom is going into a nursing home until healed so if shes abusing things, they will know. My older sister wants to take care of my mom while she heals and we have all said, over our dead bodies.

So there is that. I am feeling guilt over the fact that I wont see my niece as much or at all because of cutting my sister out but I have to protect my home. I'm going back and forth on the decision because of my niece. I feel as though I made the right choice, but could I be wrong? It's not fair to her. She needs (somewhat) stable people in her life and if I leave, it's gone. I'm at a loss.

I haven't done therapy for myself yet. I'm scared to do so. It's a lot of crazy in my closet that I dont really want to relive. It's all a mess.

Any thoughts? Did I do the right thing? What do I do to help my mom, dad and niece without compromising my decision?

Tldr: Year later I'm somewhat wiser but still at a loss. Family went to therapy. No house was bought. Therapist ditches family. Family is still screwed up. Middle sister ends relationship with older sister. Niece is in the middle of it all.

Submitted November 02, 2018 at 09:55AM by OneBadAoudad https://ift.tt/2yQMZ45