My(F29) girlfriend (F27) is upset that my ex(F27) who I haven't spoken to in 4 years contacted me to help in a prosecution case about an incident that happened while we were still together. I said sure if a violent predator will/may get convicted for it.
I let me girlfriend know of the situation and I mentioned I was not pursuing a friendship with her in any way but that we did catch up on life while going over her situation. She looked at my phone and saw our conversation was an hour long, then she wanted to know exactly what we talked about. She has been upset with me since, but I do not think I did anything wrong. I was open with her and told her as soon as it happened.
I do not see an issue in helping my ex. My girlfriend says I am not being loyal to her and that she feels betrayed. She has asked me to not continue communicating with my ex (we only spoke once) and to not help her in what she needs from me. She doesn't understand why I would communicate with a past love. (My gf cut all her ex's off and to note her last gf cheated on her, which I think this is where it all stems from).
My girlfriend has always had insecurity issues, since we started dating she let me know she did not want me to be friends with my ex, which i said fine. My ex and I were together for 6 years and were/are in the same friend circle and after 4 years I've managed to never encounter her.
Situations from the past 4 yrs: I do not see a problem in keeping a few love letters or pics from past loves. I used to have high school and college letter from past relationships. My current gf found them one day while cleaning our room and had a major outburst about it. (I know many people have different opinions about this but I told her if she still had letters from old loves I wouldn't care, those are old memories and her I am her current love). She made me throw them away, which I did if it was what she wanted. I did fight her back on it a little but eventually gave in.
There was a moment last year where a friend told me someone from my ex's family had recently passed. I was shocked and sad when I heard about this because I used to be close to her siblings. My girlfriend had told me she would be there for me for anything no matter what. I called her sad when I told her the news that someone I used to be close to died, she was sympathetic UNTIL she found out it was my ex's family member. She turned cold and said I better not call my ex.
Anyways, she says I do not respect her am not loyal and am not trying to understand her feelings towards this recent situation. She said I can talk to anyone in the world except for my ex. I told her, her actions are showing she does not trust me even though she says she does. It hurts me also that I've been with her for 4 years and that hasn't been enough to show her I am committed to her.
I feel I need to do what is true and what is right. I want to help my ex.
My girlfriend has hinted that she may not be able to continue this relationship with me if I stick with my decision. I do not want to give in, I feel I am being controlled.
I have given in to a lot of her requests and I feel have been to passive in the past. Am I doing the right thing by sticking with this?
TLDR; My gf is upset that I am helping my ex in prosecution case. I am not pursuing a friendship with her after this but my gf said if I help my ex she may break up with me...
Submitted November 01, 2018 at 01:31PM by universeisyours1 https://ift.tt/2QaPpRS
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