TL;DR at the end.
We've been together for two years and I've realize she just has a rougher way of "playing"; she really likes name calling and such. I've adapted to it (for the most part) and it's not unusual for us to engage in "mean" banter, but it took some getting used to because I was not raised like that. Everytime I was ever called a name as a kid, it was typically by my father or mother and they never meant it as a joke, it was punishment (or part of it).
I should also mention that I have a disorder that impairs my ability to understand jokes/sarcasm sometimes, and understanding certain processes/concepts takes longer for me, and this leads to people genuinely thinking I'm stupid for something I didn't ask for, so being called names is kind of a sore spot for me.
My girlfriend showed me a joke on facebook and I couldn't understand it. Even she admitted that it was a really bad joke, but she felt that she understood it nonetheless. I obviously couldn't. While trying to explain that it didn't make sense, she just repeatedly called me stupid and dumb while barely explaining how it made sense. The fact that I couldn't understand the joke AND I was being called stupid was incredibly frustrating, because I couldn't tell if she was joking or not.
I told her to stop calling me stupid and said "You know I'm insecure about that, and it ruins my self-esteem when you do that."
So her reaction was "Well if I'm SUCH a shitty person and I fuck up your life so much then we should just break up."
That was basically what she started repeating despite me never calling her shitty or saying I wanted to break up. "If I'm so bad then I'll leave." "Find someone who builds your self-esteem better than I have." "Since I'm such a shitty person I'll just go."
Like, she'd rather throw away two years than just stop doing one small thing because she thinks it's insignificant; because she doesn't understand how it effects me. She claims she was joking, I don't know how true that is because I can't tell! :/
She had to go to work so we haven't talked about it since.
Was I in the wrong? Am I just too sensitive? I'm happy with everything else in the relationship; I tried to explain that it's mainly only hurtful when she does it because she means a lot to me. Her opinion of me is very important and I don't want her thinking I'm just a big dumb oaf.
Idk. I'm just kind of at a loss for words and action.
TL;DR: I have a hard time understanding things. My girlfriend called me stupid, I told her to stop, and she'd rather play the victim and break up than stop calling me stupid. What do I do?
Submitted November 01, 2018 at 12:57PM by wrenroman https://ift.tt/2qqtdYo
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