I was with my ex for 10 years, married 6, separated 5 months. Have a daughter together. I knew he was controlling, of course I did, but I thought it was normal. I thought that's just how marriage worked. Eg. Checked my phone from the start.
Since we've split it's been hard to separate myself from this. I've had to tell him not to go to my house when I'm not there (he still owns half of it, was taking our daughter there after school) because I felt like he was snooping about - I had reason to think this, he once sent me a picture of my sink because there were dishes in it.
I restricted his access to my Facebook so he can only see what I tag him in but I made the mistake of not doing the same for my inlaws. Last night I took our daughter for dinner and literally minutes after I posted we had this text exchange:
[04/11, 18:54] Him: Just out of interest, what have you done on Facebook that I can’t see any of your updates that I’m not tagged in? And why?
[04/11, 19:00] Me: Changed the group settings. As per earlier on you're not interested in what I'm doing so
[04/11, 19:03] Him: How petty and pathetic.
[04/11, 19:03] Him: But what I would say is hat if she wasn’t going to your grans you could have said and I’d have taken her to see the fireworks here at 6pm
[04/11, 19:05] Him: And let’s not pretend you did this this afternoon, I thought it was strange why I hadn’t saw any of your updates for a while. Let’s not pretend it’s anything other than you trying to control what information of yours I see, because that is exactly what it is. And you somehow think I care
[04/11, 19:05] Him: I don’t understand why you didn’t just unfriend.
[04/11, 19:07] Me: I did plan to take her to my grans, but looking at the timing it didn't make sense.
I never said I did it this afternoon. I did it during the week. I didn't unfriend because there are still things we will do together.
But yeah, I am controlling what you see. And I'm not gonna apologise for that
[04/11, 19:12] Him: Why do you think I actually care? Cause I really really don’t! I got that you maybe wanted to hide your weird relationship status shit but I did find out about that and it wasn’t from any sort of snooping or whatever the fuck you think I am doing. It was in the public domain.
You are being petty and pathetic, I hope you realise that.
[04/11, 19:13] Me: For someone who doesn't care it really seems to be bothering you.
[04/11, 19:14] Him: It bothers me how pathetic you’re being, not what you’re up to in your own free time.
[04/11, 19:16] Him: You can either wise the fuck up and restore it or remove me, up to yourself.
[04/11, 19:17] Me: Not really your decision to make that.
[04/11, 19:18] Him: It’s not my decision whether I unfriend you?
[04/11, 19:18] Me: No, it's not your decision whether I restore or remove you
[04/11, 22:56] Him: It’s your decision to do it, or don’t and I’ll take it out of your hands and do it for you. Do you honestly think it’s normal that our 50 mutual friends, half of whom are probably MY friends and MY family, can see that you’ve taken (daughter) to Bella Italia but I shouldn’t be allowed to be aware of that? Consider that as if it weren’t you and I. Do you honestly think that’s normal behaviour from you??
Were you gonna let me know you’d taken this decision at any point if I hadn’t found out myself or were you happy to see any and all shit I post, (daughter) related or otherwise, but I don’t get to see yours in return?
Once again it’s you being devious and sneaky. And you wonder why I didn’t trust you? You are not and never have been a trustworthy person!
Wise up and get a fucking grip of yourself.
END
So yeah. Most of me thinks he's being an idiot. But there is part of me who thinks I am being unreasonable and I'm just causing issues for myself where I don't have to, so looking for some outside opinions - am I being silly?
TL;DR - Restricted my ex-husband's access to my facebook. He says I'm being petty, pathetic, sneaky & devious. Am I?
[REPOST AS USED A NAUGHTY WORD...]
Submitted November 05, 2018 at 05:34AM by GoodCG https://ift.tt/2DlROq1
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