TLDR at the end - My wife and I always had a sort of rocky history. Years of joy filled with years of regret and issues conceiving. She was a former model that worked in the medical industry and when we first met I was unemployed. Our past issues involved her having low self esteem in the relationship - reach out to other for validation and stuff. No pictures exchanged and we ended up setting up boundaries.
Over time I became the financial backbone of the family and encouraged her to leave her stressful career. We bought a house together and were supposedly happy with us being us in our life. Through that she grew her hobbies in gaming and streaming. We always talked about doing lavish vacations together but could never financially afford it putting money into the house and her needs and some medical issues on the side.
Eventually through her streaming she was able to go to a big convention this year. I was excited and supportive for her to branch out and meet new people in her hobby and gaming communities. I was also thinking I could have a bit of bud time with some friends and catch up with a few beers.
After the first day or two I was bored and missed my wife/best friend. When the time came around to pick her up after 4 days at the air port I showed up with some flowers early. When she greeted me it was awkward and sort of a "really?" moment. We laughed it off but it was one of those things I always wanted to do as a husband.
After a few weeks at home she grew more and more distant and kept bringing up the idea of what I thought of open marriages. I am sort of always data driven and never really know how to feel with things, and kept replying statistically they fail more than are successful.
Tonight we started to talk again as if we haven't for a while - she opened up to me about things and why she was discussing the open marriage. She also admitted that she hooked up with another streamer at the convention while away. They likely would remain in touch but rarely see each other again if ever. I think I know who it is... and its making me not want to do my hobby any more which is also gaming together...
Over time our sex life became challenged as she would often have pain or issues after intercourse. I am not a small guy so tried to come up with different buffers and things to make it more comfortable for her. Eventually our love life became maybe a few times a month nether satisfied overall.
I asked her what happened in detail and she gave me everything they did together. I regret hearing it now but it was probably good overall.
She says she still loves me and I am the only person she wants to be with (married to anyway...), but now she wants to sleep with other people as that may make her more open to sex again and be open. Her argument is she cant be with someone so big all the time (cant eat chocolate every day) I am not sure how to take this at all. I love this woman and I think she still loves me as we been through so much together. I have also been dissatisfied in our sex life, but remained diligent and ever faithful to her.
I feel like if I okay the open relationship I would be more hurt overall and a jealous miserable person unless magic happens really.
TLDR - Wife cheated on me after 7 years - both not satisfied with sex life. Can this be salvaged with a open relationship? I am not sure if it can since so many trust lines have been broken with this one fling.
Update - I ended up snooping and this was a planned thing. The whole convention was a sex romp for them. They have kept in touch and have been planning other conventions and even discussed hiding it around me. They discussed in detail how they had sex/ how they want to continue it.
Update - Getting a therapy appointment to help work out my thoughts and let some close friends know whats going on. I talked to her more and she doesn't want to end anything on her part and is encouraging me to find someone and that she loves me. After I at least talk to some help I may call lawyer and stuff and make a plan. I saved text I saw for if it goes down that route.
Update 3: Tried to talk about the future. She wants therapy also... Shes blaming me for bad sex which she mentioned before - which I tried to add in like offering we go to couples therapy, toys, devices for not so deep penetration etc. Shes saying I ignored all that when in reality I jumped at the chance to do things differently and it would get bogged down with daily life crap other reasons.
Submitted November 27, 2018 at 06:42AM by burneraccountlol123 https://ift.tt/2zCzZzF
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