My partner and I have been together for 8 months now. Before this, he had told been in a toxic relationship with someone else and he told me that he was not the best person before we met. I didn't really delve much into it, but he has been kind and caring for the time that I have known him. Recently, one of my friend's exes told her that my ex was incredibly abusive to her friend/ex-roommate who is my partner's ex. This person had seen him tagged in one of my friends pics and she felt the urgency to tell her about how he had acted towards her friends for safety's sake. Apparently he had violently physically abused his ex for months, had abused a previous ex when he was in grad school (she didn't know this woman personally but she had written multiple essays on it online), and had been on trial for assaulting someone else earlier. He also treated women horribly throughout his life. This is shocking to me considering his feminist rhetoric, his open communication, and his unfaltering dedication to being a better person. When I confronted him about this, he didn't defend himself and told me that he knew he was a bad person before, but he was dedicated to true change. The thing is, I believe him. My other problem is I can't believe that I could ever be with someone who abused women like this. I feel like a betrayer to my own kind if I would stay with him. I don't know what to do because I want to continue this relationship yet I feel like if I did, I would be acting like I don't believe all these women that have come forward. Shouldn't we allow people to change and forgive them or does he have to pay for his mistakes forever?
TL;DR I found out my boyfriend has abused women in the past. I believe that he is changed and is constantly working to be a better person. I want to continue the relationship with him but am scared I am being foolish and also a betrayer of womankind by being with someone that has committed all these atrocities.
Submitted November 05, 2018 at 08:10AM by Ughamiabadperson https://ift.tt/2Ql2JDe
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