I [29M] Told My Wife [29F] I Didn't Want Her Hanging Out With a Male Friend Tonight. Am I Being Insecure?

We've been married for 4 years, dating for 6 years. We have a three year old daughter.

Now, she's known this male friend of hers since high school.

Around a year before we started dating, we were in the same social group. I didn't know her that well at the time, I didn't know her friend (let's call him Henry) well at the time either. But by being in the same social circle I know she was obsessed with Henry. She was head over heels for him. From talking to other people in the group, it was a recent thing. They knew each other in high school, but were never close, or even really friends. They had gotten friendly around that time though, and she spent close to a year trying to be with him. He wasn't interested. Eventually she moved on,dated someone else in our group for a couple months, then her and I started talking more. We hit it off, she broke up with her boyfriend, and we got together. Since then things have gone great. We dated, got married, had a child, bought a house together.

Recently, her and Henry started talking again. This started around July.

Now, she's not being secretive of anything. At least as far as I know. She hasn't hid the fact they started talking again.

I've gotten uncomfortable with how much they talk though, and how much they spend time together.

I work second shift, 4pm to midnight, Thursday to Monday. The past few months they've spent a lot of time together on the weekends, with my daughter. They go over to his house for dinner, he comes to our house, they got out to restaurants, he comes over and she cooks dinner....

Again, none of this is hidden from me, she tells me ahead of time what their plans are.

Tonight though I just got pissed off about it. I was heading into work and she was getting dinner ready. She told me Henry was coming over, and they were going to eat and watch a movie.

I sort of flipped out tonight and told her it was bullshit that I'm working and she's cooking dinner for a friend then watching a movie with her and our daughter. She didn't get mad. She apologized to me and said she didn't know I felt that way, and she would cancel their plans tonight.

It's just...even though she is being open and honest about when they hang out....we occasionally use each others phones for things. She texts him every day. Yeah I snooped a bit, sue me.

There's nothing sexual, and nothing really that flirty, but it's still every day.

I just don't know if I'm being paranoid or what....

TL;DR: Am I being paranoid/controlling or am I right to think this isn't a normal "friendship"?

Submitted November 03, 2018 at 09:44PM by tdcoda1 https://ift.tt/2SIccWC