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I [24, F] no longer want to talk to a friend of 1 year [26, F] and have been keeping my distance, she is not taking the hint and I need advice?

Let's just call her Martha.

Backstory: Martha and I have been friends for about ~1 year, we met through our line of work and it was an instant connection. I felt happy to have met a person like her, very charismatic and hilarious. However, there have been a few instances where she has completely dishonoured me and showed me that she isn't that great of a friend. I want to severe ties with her in a peaceful way however I feel she senses the distance and has been trying extra hard to keep us friends. In general she is quite confrontational and aggressive when she feels people have wronged her, so I'm at a loss - should I say something?

Examples of why I am done:

  • We both have very creative careers (photographers) and work for ourselves, occasionally we hire each other for support. The first few times she hired me, she paid a pretty fair hourly rate. Then maybe 3 jobs into the season, she paid me $5 LESS per hour than usual. I confronted her and asked her what happened and she said the job she had booked didn't pay as much as the others did. The really annoying thing about this is that she complains about others who pay their contractors the EXACT same amount she paid me in that instance. It was really shitty, but I got over it and told her that moving forward, my rate was $x/hour.
  • I hired her to support me during one of my jobs, and the entire day she seemed to be trying to make me look bad in front of my clients. There were so many times she stepped on my toes and shamed me in front of everyone. It was really upsetting and I decided never to hire her again.
  • In our personal lives, I was going through a really hard time in my marriage around my birthday. I had moved out for ~1 week and planned a get together with some friends so I could get my mind off things. She called me the same day and told me she wasn't going to make it after all, because a friend of hers wanted to take her to a spa and she would rather do that. Ouch.
  • The one time I confided in her about my past trauma and said that I used to be quite insecure that I was a loser when I was a teenager (smoking weed, skipping school, cliche stuff), she responded with "Yep, that's the definition of a loser."
  • I am going through a completely new business rebrand and hired a great designer. After my logo was completed, I excitedly sent it over to her and showed it to her. She immediately said that she hated it, her husband hates it AND her sister hates it. I made it clear to her that she was being shockingly rude and I was quite hurt, and she apologized saying she thought I also hated it. This was the final straw for me.

I probably didn't need to go over all the different reasons I don't want this friendship anymore - but I want some serious feedback! So far I've been distant, not really messaging her as much and I have cancelled plans with her twice now, I'm not going to be making any new ones with her.

Her reactions to me putting space between us is calling me, messaging me REALLY kind words, and messaging a friend of mine whom she has not even met yet and is acting like they are friends. I reply but I don't engage in conversation and I make up an excuse for why I cannot answer the phone. I want this to be a peaceful parting if possible, but am curious what you all have done in situations like this? It doesn't seem like she is taking the hint.

**TL;DR;** : I realized a friend of mine isn't so great after all, and I want to ghost her but it is not working so far. Need advice on slowly removing myself from the friendship where she doesn't get angry and confrontational. Say something or not?



Submitted November 02, 2018 at 03:00PM by wigglew00gle https://ift.tt/2PCMggn
I [24, F] no longer want to talk to a friend of 1 year [26, F] and have been keeping my distance, she is not taking the hint and I need advice? I [24, F] no longer want to talk to a friend of 1 year [26, F] and have been keeping my distance, she is not taking the hint and I need advice? Reviewed by KING SAMUEL on November 03, 2018 Rating: 5

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