Leaving my (33F) boyfriend (35M) of 11 years due to alcohol abuse and lack of commitment
Update on my previous post. I left him Saturday January 28th after a huge fight, regarding his drinking and while looking for his booze stash I found lingerie that wasn’t mine and had clearly been worn. The next morning he was back in the cycle of kissing my ass to make me forget he was a jerk so he made me coffee and left to his friends house for a few hours. After he left I grabbed as much of my clothing and toiletries as I could and sped down to make apartment to offload. By the time I returned he had also returned, he was nervously mowing the yard and doing maintenance on the house. I asked “So does the lingerie belong to you or someone else?” He tried to explain that it was a white elephant gift from his idiot friends he just had and some other nonsense. Exclaimed that he would never cheat on me and a few other asinine statements. He was surprisingly calm and skipped hysterical thankfully. I told him none of it mattered and that we were essentially done because he never put any of the effort he promised into resolving our issues the last time we broke up. He accepted it. He then bowed out to give me time to grab more of my things. We’ve been cordial through the week and I have worked from the house we co-own twice while he was out at work. He’s guilt tripping me saying things like oh I wasted your time or I ruined your life. I was pretty devastated the first few days, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep and I missed him. Then we had a conversation Thursday that made something click in me. Thursday we talked just regarding the house, he was discussing how miserable he was and I asked him, “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want to get married?” He tried to say that I blindsided him by not wanting children which was a discussion we had two years into the relationship. I got sterilized in September 2022 because I was tired of birth control and the paranoia of bringing a child into the world that I didn’t want. I reminded him that I told him 2 years in and I said if it was such an issue then, we should have broken up then. He’s been better since then and I feel less sad about the breakup. My appetite is returning and I’m sleeping much better. I don’t think I’ll ever know what it was about me that wasn’t enough for him. Regardless of any of it though he would have had the drinking issue so the commitment issue is moot. I’m having a hard time picturing myself with anyone again but that’s probably for the best so that I can heal and rediscover myself.
TL;DR I left. He couldn’t tell me why he didn’t want to marry me or why he drinks but I found lingeries that wasn’t mine and I’m moving on.
Submitted February 05, 2023 at 08:50PM by FelineInfestation https://ift.tt/LKOvCqd
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