My (M 32) brother (M 28) is a bit prone to argumentation, but I want to explain to him that the way he talks to people sometimes is off putting. Does anybody have any advice?

It's not a big issue, but it is a bit annoying and I think if he was aware he was doing it it would be valuable insight to him.

My brother was in a bit of a funk with his mental health for a period, but I don't think he's aware of the way he talks to people sometimes. So basically what my brother does is he'll ask someone a question, and then immediately follow up that question with what he thinks the answer will be. This would be okay I think if he was like "How was your day? Was it a good one?", except that usually his follow up question is most times...negative.

So for example, my brother's friend will come over and my brother will ask him something like, "So, what did you do this weekend? Not much?" There's no reason for my brother to think his friend didn't get up to anything, he just has a habit of asking questions and then following them up exactly like that.

Like this morning he was taking the dog out and he turned to me and asked, "I guess you don't want to come?" Again, no reason to think I wouldn't want t come. I guess that's him asking me if I want to go?? Honestly I kind of hate it. It definitely makes me not want to then go for a walk with him. It feels negative.

Or he'll walk in and see me at my computer and ask something like, "What did you do this morning? Just stay on the computer?" I mean, even if I have a habit of being on the computer a lot that's still a shitty way to communicate with someone.

It's not like he's trying to imply that he thinks people are boring or lazy or that he's in any way bothered or upset, he's just telling people what he thinks they likely do with their time, and honestly it's usually just...negative. There's more to it than that, because he's not giving them space to communicate really, and it's just generally bad for conversation. I mean, I know it affects me a bit when my brother talks like this, and I can see when he does it to his friends that they're a bit put off, but it's a habit and he doesn't seem aware of why that would be annoying.

Honestly it just makes me feel like he's judging me, and not in a good way.

What do you guys think of a person who talks like that? And how would you suggest I bring this up to make him aware, knowing that my brother doesn't take criticism well and can be argumentative? Like, how do I make him realize that even if you do have good reason to think someone didn't do much on the weekend, it's still off putting and rude to be asked "What did you get up to this weekend? Nothing?" Who would want to continue that conversation? I don't!

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tl;dr

My brother asks people questions and then immediately suggests what he thinks the answer is, and his assumption is usually negative. How do I make him aware of this?

Submitted February 11, 2023 at 06:00AM by MisterHippoChip https://ift.tt/BkbsRlw