My (28F) brother’s (26M) girlfriend is jealous of me spending time with my brother, and recently it really came to a head

My younger brother and I have been close all of our lives, and we enjoy meeting up and going on trips together and have had a lot of fun over the years. Well, cut to the past year or so when my brother got with his current girlfriend. On our last big trip (this was about two weeks), she tried her absolute hardest to stop him from going, but he went anyway, and she called and messaged incessantly the entire time, to where he would be in a bar bathroom for 40 minutes at a time on the phone with her, glued to his phone screen during activities, and ending up sitting out in the hotel lobby at night to take her calls then too, etc. If my brother doesn’t respond right away, he gets in trouble. After that trip, I know he got in trouble and guilt-tripped hard despite wasting time during the trip to give her attention, because he was upset enough at the time to tell me a bit about it over text.

Well, cut to a recent small weekend trip to a festival we were excited for that we had planned many months in advance. For the weeks leading up to the event, I was messaging my brother about it in excitement, asking for his ETA to the city, but he was eerily quiet and seemed to avoid the subject of the trip when we did talk. But I ignored any red flags and just assumed he was busy. Then comes the day of the trip, when I’m literally in the airport and still not hearing from him. At this point it was starting to sink in, but I still thought I would see him in the morning somehow for some reason (I was leaving Friday night, and he was going to come Saturday early in the morning from what we had talked about before the eerie quiet stage started.) Morning comes and goes. Then the truth reveals itself.

He ghosted. We had dinner reservations that I had got for us weeks prior at a restaurant we were both excited to go to. We were supposed to split the Saturday night hotel bill and I was left with the entire tab. So I spent the weekend solo trying to push down the anger as best I could and enjoy the trip anyway.

I tried to call and message him incessantly during the trip and nothing. I can’t believe he would do that to me. I’m extremely hurt that he didn’t at least cancel like an adult. I know he’s alive and well because other people we know have confirmed hearing from him.

I’m 100% certain it’s the girlfriend because we had nothing bad going on between us, combined with the knowledge of how she was about our previous trip. And, if there had been ANY genuine issue that came up, I’m sure he would have told me and talked to me about it. It’s now about a week post-trip and he hasn’t tried speaking to me. No apology or anything.

I’m not sure what to do going forward. I’m hurt, angry, and sad that I feel like I’ve lost my brother. Do I try reaching out to him again (then again, I feel like reaching out first in a way makes it seem like I’m accepting the way he treated me)? Do I just accept that she has her claws that deep into him? I’m at a loss. I’m anxious about if she told him to stay away from me forever or if he just feels like too much of a horse’s butt to confront me after what he did. This whole being jealous of a sister dynamic is a new level of insanity that I didn’t know existed. She can have him every other day of the year outside of a few weeks, and I’ve never done anything to her.

TL:DR My brother’s girlfriend is extremely jealous of me (the sister) and she likely caused my brother to ghost me. I’m not sure what to do going forward.

Submitted February 09, 2023 at 03:01AM by pebbleskylight https://ift.tt/BFk2e8o