I'll try to keep it short: I don't throw around this word a lot, but my dad has been a narcissist my entire life. He's got every trait of a Vulnerable Narcissist. For example, 2 years ago he did the landscaping for my forest wedding. My husband handmade us a wooden arch for us to get married under. My father threw the biggest tantrum about it, thinking we were trying to "upstage him." I'm the one who had to apologize to him for hurting his feelings in order for the day to continue. As he gets older, these kinds of things occur more frequently. Growing up, he was verbally abusive, neglectful, and a raging alcoholic.
My oldest brother struggles with addiction and won't speak to him. My middle brother is also a recovering addict who moved back home with my parents. He got more abuse than any of us from my dad and now he's just emotionally crippled.
My mom is my rock and she knows well how awful my dad is, but she also stays with him and many times makes excuses for him behavior. She also knows she can't change or control him. When he yells at her or puts her down, she just laughs. I am not at that place.
In 3 weeks I am going to have my first child and my dad just recently attacked me the day of my baby shower. I went off on him and blocked him. I've had to block him many times. Last January he went off on me for some mental health put I put on my Instagram story. He's constantly accusing me of treating him horribly when I have tried for years to please him by making him gifts, visiting often, and stuffing my true anger out of respect and need for peace. He can't stop raging me on, especially on important days.
If I shut my dad out, I feel like my mom will suffer and she's my best friend. She is insisting that I allow my dad to be in my son's life. I would like that but I'm also afraid of exposing my child to my dad's abrupt rage.
I have no idea how to proceed and it's making me depressed.
TLDR: My dad is a covert narcissist who rages when he feels insecure and i don't want him around my baby once he is born, but I don't want to hurt my mom or complicate things for her.
Submitted February 02, 2023 at 09:54AM by isaacismyson https://ift.tt/ftnuJlw
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