My childhood best friend (24f) is lying to a man (24m) she’s about to marry, and I (23f) don’t know what the best course of action is

So a couple weeks ago, my (23f) best friend, we’ll call her Diana (24f) from when I was around 9-13yo messaged me saying that she was pregnant and getting married in around three months. I was initially really excited for her and was planning on booking my tickets, until I realised that the man she was marrying, we’ll call him Cole (24m) was someone she had pretty heavily abused (by her own admittance) in the past, and might not even be the father of her kid.

I should first establish that I haven’t lived in the same country as Diana for 10 years now, and only know about her lifestyle and choices from the things she’s told me and evidence (photos, videos) she’s shown. From what I know, her life had kind of spiralled a fair bit from when I left, and she was partaking in real bad substances as well as getting into some questionable relationships. I’ve tried talking to her, but she wasn’t very accessible from where I was, and eventually I just settled to hoping for the best. Since then, she’s kind of cleaned up her act aside from a couple hiccups.

When she first met her now-fiancé, he was good for her. I remember visiting around 5 years ago when they first started talking, and she seemed excited but wary seeing as it was her first relationship with a guy. They had started dating when we were all around 18-19, and from the outside it looked like they were doing pretty well. However, a year or so into it she came to me telling me that they had broken up and it was her fault. I asked her what she meant, and she described in detail all the ways that she had emotionally and verbally abused him. She seemed to regret it though, and the years following would date other men as she held onto the idea that Cole was “the one that got away”.

Three years after their break-up, Diana reached out to Cole asking him for a second chance. She said that she’d completely cleaned up he act and would never hurt him again, telling him that her biggest regret in life was losing him. With all things considered, he took her back and they started dating again. It’s been around 2 years since then.

However, around a year ago she came to me with a confession: she had been cheating on Cole for months now with a man from her workplace. That man was married with kids. I obviously told her off about it and asked her to break it off. She eventually told me she did, after we a couple of weeks and some stern conversations, so I thought that was that. I still had my doubts though. I also told her that she should tell Cole about what happened. She refused, saying that it might make him do something drastic as his mental health wasn’t super good.

I didn’t think I had the right to tell Cole about what had been going on seeing as I was so far away and had never actually met him in person. I was also afraid that she was right. If I had told him, and something did happen, I could never forgive myself. This probably makes me an asshole, but part of me also thought that they would break up eventually anyways.

But they didn’t. He got her pregnant and now they’re getting married. If I said anything now, the child might end up without a father. If I said anything now, I risk ruining three lives. I still love my friend, despite how dysfunctional she could be sometimes, and she did seem to keep her promise that she wouldn’t emotionally and verbally abuse him anymore. But there is the real possibility that my friend lied about cutting ties with the other man and the baby might not be Cole’s.

How should I approach this situation without making things worse?

Tl;dr: My childhood friend is marrying a man she’d cheated on multiple times and he doesn’t know. There’s a real possibility that the baby she’s currently pregnant with is not his.

Submitted March 06, 2022 at 12:16AM by throwadowa5 https://ift.tt/rgXT7It