For context I am a 19 year old kid who moved out and has an apartment with my girlfriend.
Back in high school I was like the glue of our group and would always set things up, hangouts, weekends, even trips when we’d get out of town etc. I am an extremely extroverted guy and love hanging with my friends as much as possible but with all the coordinating I did, it would get tiresome at times. I have numerous different friend groups and try to be the person who can get along with everyone. It was nice to let out different parts of my personality with the different groups but found that in both circumstances I’d always play the role of the “initiator” or else nothing would happen. Eventually I got frustrated enough to stop initiating because I often times felt like it was a one way friendship. Like if we all got together or even if I hung out with someone one on one we’d have a good time, but getting to that point could be tiring at times. Eventually it got too tiring, especially since after graduation everyone got full time jobs or went to college and I just couldn’t carry all the weight anymore. I thought getting an apartment would be perfect (since I could never host at my dads house because he was such a toxic person to be around) but now I can’t even get one person to come over. So Ive reached the point where I stopped reaching out, and sure enough our group fell apart. It’s been months and no one hits me up, no one makes the time to hang, it seems like I’ve fallen off the face of the earth and no one has noticed. I am depressed, lonely, and feel like I never had any friends to begin with.
I don’t know why I’m here on Reddit sharing this, I’m sure there are numerous people who have situations worse than mine and I’m not necessarily asking for advice on how to make it better. Maybe I’m just sharing my frustration and letting it out. But man I feel alone. I miss my friends and it seems like no one misses me. Growing up is hard.
TL;DR: I used to be the initiator for my friend group but I stopped because it became too much work. Now my friends don’t reach out and I am alone.
Submitted March 04, 2022 at 03:28PM by poppopglock https://ift.tt/MtnuySV
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