This is by far the most painful experience of my life, and I'm having a hard time accepting it as reality.
Wife and I moved to a new city a few months ago, because she got in to a really good school. She was feeling a little lost a while ago, and decided that going back to school to get a profession would help with it. So I got a transfer and we moved here. We lived here for a bit, when she started to get really frustrated and upset by how bored and lonely she was.
So she started hanging out with people at school, and took up a hobby that she really enjoys. During this time, she started to get way too close to one of her classmates. She had started a full blown emotional affair. When I caught it, I immediately spoke to her about it, and she acknowledged she had been feeling depressed and forming this relationship was helping her feel better.
We talked about it for hours, and I even mentioned that this was often the first sign of an imminent divorce which I absolutely did not want, and she immediately made promises to seek out counseling and possibly go on anti-depressants. This seemed to make things much better, for a short amount of time. Once her other friends found out what she had done, they started to distance themselves from her. They said they wanted to take "A short break" from their relationship. During this time she was definitely upset, but we got through it together, and she started to feel better again, for a short time.
In the last few weeks, I started to feel that distance again, but it felt so much different this time. I couldn't explain it, but it felt like a looking axe above my head. She left for a week for a pre-scheduled thing, and visited her family in her home state for a while. The whole time she was gone, she was barely talking to me. During the times I wasn't at work, I would often send her pictures of me cuddling our cat, something we both do quite regularly, but I rarely saw any replies. That same dread was in me, but I tried to assume it was just because she was busy.
Then today happened... I felt it worse today than ever before, and ended up leaving early to get home and see her. On the drive home I called her and she said she needed to have a talk, I asked if it was as bad as I suspected, and she admitted it was. So I urged her to just start talking, I couldn't bare to wait through the drive.
She basically told me that she needed to take a break, and work on herself. That although she loved me deeply, more than any one she'd ever loved before, she didn't think our relationship would make it to the long term.
When I asked for more information, she explained that our personalities are too different, and our communication styles are too different, and she wanted to get back to learning about her individuality. I told her that I highly doubted this would be a break, and that it was probably just a soft attempt at leaving me completely. Although if she truly believed that this was just a temporary break and wanted to actively looking in to getting back together in some time, then I would be willing to try it. She admitted it was unlikely to end up well.
So that's it... 5 years of marriage... We had our problems, but we also actively worked on bettering ourselves. For over 5 years we did so. We had a healthier relationship than almost anyone else we knew. Our fights were calm disagreements, and whenever we were hurt we would talk about it... But this seems to have come out of nowhere...
Can I blame this on the anti-depressants? Is there anything I can say or do to keep her? She's my best friend, and if you had told me 3 months ago that I would be on the verge of getting a divorce, I would have laughed at the mere thought of it... How can things go so drastically bad so quickly?!
Tldr; Wife of 5 years completely changed in the last 3 months, wants to take a break, and most likely a divorce. I'm losing my best friend out of nowhere and I don't know what to do.
Submitted December 24, 2019 at 02:21PM by throwaway47929284 https://ift.tt/2sWsy5Q
No comments:
Post a Comment