My (21f) recently retired mum (63) keeps demanding more and more attention from me whilst I'm studying and it's ruining Christmas break.

First of all yes I'm aware I have much older parents.

My mum was made redundant from her job a few months ago and I have recently come home to visit for Christmas. She decided to not take on another job since she was close to retiring anyway. She has preoccupied with a few hobbies and friends but has nothing scheduled in her day. I have told her to get another low hour job or do some volunteering but she won't listen to any of my suggestions. We have always had a strained relationship but are close. I have never liked being at home for too long.

It's exam season in January and my course is very demanding. I have an unreal amount of course work and a lot to study for.

I have started doing work at home and she is just constantly pestering me. She keeps coming in my room during mock exams that require you to listen to a recording and is a timed experience so I really need to work in a exam environment. She will then create an argument out of it or tell me that I'm not doing enough in the house which is not true at all. It's like she wants to just break my focus and get me to do anything else She will come and ask me if I'm having a break now and then get mad when I tell her no or even yes but I'll be doing some more later.

Today, I'm doing work at the kitchen table and I've literally been there about 15 minute's before she asks if I'm done. I tell her no and I ask if she needs me to move. She then says she wants to play a game with me and I tell her that I'm really busy and if I don't get some done today I'll end up doing work on Christmas Eve and Day. She shouts at me and says that she's wanting to spend time with me and that I'm not being fair and I treat her like shit. She slams all the doors in the house and goes on a rant to herself in the other room about what a selfish daughter she has. I'm so fed up and my mental health is shit because of the environment in this house.

Here's the thing. I spend plenty of time with my mum and it's not as though my uni is far away so I visit all the time. The reason I'm doing this now is so we can actually have a nice Christmas and I've explained this.

I feel like I can't even take time for myself because every time I do it's taken up by her.

In my opinion she's just bored and seeking constant attention. It's frustrating and I've had to tell my dad, who completely agrees with me, that I have to go back to uni after Christmas at this rate because I can't work here. I'd rather live alone for a month in a student house than deal with this everyday. I am not her entertainment.

I pay ten grand for this degree and I'm going to end up failing because my mum can't occupy herself. I come from an incredibly working class family so I don't think she understands the amount of stuff I have on my plate and how much dedication it takes.

I'm feeling exhausted and strained. This time of year sucks and I don't think I should be made to feel guilty about for taking a masters.

Am I doing anything wrong? Most parents want their kids to study. As I said I definitely do spend quality time with her and the whole family but she's wanting an increasing amount of attention from me and it feels really childish.

Is it the best thing for me to just leave or is there a way I can make it barrable at home? It would be a shame to spend Christmas break in an empty house.

Help

Tl;Dr

My mum has recently retired and keeps bothering me while I'm studying at home because she's bored and wants attention from me. It's got really heated and aggressive. I feel like I can't stay here for Christmas anymore because it's ruining my degree and my mental health. I definitely do take time out to spend with her aswell.

Submitted December 21, 2019 at 02:11PM by lunaspirit98 https://ift.tt/2QaEFnv