I'm 29F, boyfriend is 28M. All of this happened when I told him I want to go to a Christmas party but he didn't want to go, like actually afraid of going. I then found out his ex would be at the party and that's why he didn't want to go. I told him it might be awkward but could he please do it for me because I really wanted to go, he still said no, and said he'd explain soon. For 4 days we did a bunch of stuff I said I wanted to do but didn't really expect to do them. We went places I mentioned I wanted to see, tried restaurants I had mentioned, bought me random things I pointed at in the store from months ago, even watched movies I said looked interesting but never watched. Finally on the fourth day he told me. He said “The reason why I waited 4 days to tell you is because I needed to be prepared for the relationship to end. 5 years ago, I hit my girlfriend. I'm sorry to her. I can't express how sorry I always will be. Now I could use the excuse that It was one night and It won't happen again but you can't excuse something like that, not even under the influence of alcohol or drugs, no excuses for something like that. I'm sorry I wasted your time because logically it's over between us, no one wants to be with a domestic abuser. I don't know what I expected, you can't put something like that behind you I just wanted a relationship like this but I can't have that because of what I did. Not only did I fuck up by doing what I did years ago I fucked up by not telling you sooner. I'm a fuck up. As much as I want you to say it's okay and we can be together I know that's not going to Happen. This not some way to get sympathy so you'll stay with me, I'm breaking up with you. I'm sorry I did this to you.” then he left. Then I found out after the incident 5 years ago the relationship with his ex ended and he went to therapy more than regularly for a year, then went less regularly for another year. The third year he felt comfortable enough for another relationship and we met the 4th year. We talked for 2 months by talk I mean we texted and went for coffee non romantically but were open about wanting a relationship. Then he asked me out we went on 11 dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 2 months, I said I love you 7 months in and he said it back and now I feel like my world has been flipped upside down. I haven't stopped crying I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I want to be with him, like I obviously still love him, love just doesn't go away but I don't know if I can trust him now like just I hate all of this
Edit: My boyfriend said he broke up with me so that if didn't want to move forward then that was that I didn't have to do anything more. From what I know about the night he hit her, it was a really long and heated argument she threw water on him and that's when he hit her. I don't know where he hit her. It was only the one night. His ex confirmed what he said about that night. She also said he seemed remorseful afterwards but agreed the relationship should end.
TL;DR: I recently learned my boyfriend hit his ex girlfriend and I don't know what to do now
Submitted December 24, 2019 at 08:03PM by throwaway4647484950 https://ift.tt/35XUCo2
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