I (17m) just started just started my first relationship with my best friend(17f) and I feel super conflicted/guilty

Let me give you guys some background. Basically, she was with another dude before we started talking (he’s a great person and i really respect him) and they broke up in the middle of August. Around the start of senior year, we started to talk to each other after she gave me a ride back to my house. It was honestly so unexpected that she would become my best friend. She suffered from the break up really really badly, like crying almost everyday. I was there to help her basically all the time, and eventually we started texting daily to even hourly. I didn’t become friends with her because I wanted to date her, I just wanted to help her because she was someone who was deeply hurt in my friend group. Most of the people in my friend group thought that she was too clingy and didn’t leave enough time for the guy, but I stuck by her side.

Anyways, fast forward to about two days ago, I confessed that I had a crush on her, she confessed too afterwards and now we’re a thing. We both snuck out at 2am in the freezing cold to just talk about our feelings and honestly it was amazing. Here’s the thing though, this is my first relationship ever, I’ve never kissed a girl before and I really don’t know what I’m doing. I just don’t want to mess up and hurt her, because I know how much it’ll hurt her. I want to initiate things (like holding her hand or something) but I’m just too scared to. I know this sounds ridiculous but I’m a person who deeply respects boundaries. Yesterday she told me she wasn’t a virgin anymore and I don’t know why but it kind of crushed me. I assumed that she wasn’t the type of person to do that stuff at this age but I guess not. Anyways, I felt super envious and honestly guilty, because I thought it was a superficial thing to be bothered by. She had a lot going for her with the other guy and I just feel a little incompetent. She expressed that I was more than just enough though, so that does make me feel better. I really just don’t want to mess up. What are some things that I should do to better myself for her?

tl:dr: I’m an inexperienced fellow in a relationship with a fairly experienced girl that had a lot going for her with her ex. What do I do to make myself better?

edit: I'm an Asian dude and she's also asian. My family is much more strict around dating and it's going to be quite challenging to cover up our relationship. We are also planning on not telling anyone about this relationship, mostly to prevent drama and shit. I also don't want to show her off like a trophy girl or something, I just want it to be about us

Submitted December 25, 2019 at 07:55AM by _NecroVenom_ https://ift.tt/2QchsRS